Affirmation is so important to a human being. Belittling and verbally
attacking each other may cause us to doubt our worth, to withdraw, to become bitter, and
to stop meeting one another's needs.
This affects
our spiritual life, faith and vocation, as well as our emotional health. Words
tear down or build up. Affirmation given in every possible circumstance, both
in public and in private, will help to build up one another personally and as a
couple.
Our
self-worth is very fragile. Hearing negative words from our mate tears us down,
belittles us, and makes us feel "less than". We need to encourage and
sustain each other throughout the day with texts, emails, phone calls and
little notes tucked away in obvious places.
This
decreases our mate's intimacy and vulnerability sensitivity. We listen
attentively and take an active interest in what interests one another. This
lets us know that we are valued, cherished and desirable; and strengthens us to
face the belittlement of the world around us.
Frequently
communicating with each other the positive feelings that we have for one
another endears us to our mate. We value, admire, and are proud of each other's
diligence as a couple, and in our family, life, vocation and church ministries.
We can agree
to disagree rather than to argue; look for ways to compromise, rather than to
insist on our own way; tell each other what we like about one another instead
of pointing out faults or about what irritates us; and help each other when we
get behind on our chores rather than to complain.
Prayer:
Father God,
remind us to change our focus rather than to dwell on the negative aspects of
our mate. Help us to see things from their perspective so we can understand
their reactions to us and to life in general. Exhort us to see each other as a
friend, not as a foe; and to treat each other as we expect to be treated.
Help us to pour out praise, compliments and appreciation to each other
rather than criticism, sarcasm and finding faults. Teach us to cherish our
relationship and one another, to love each other unconditionally as You love
us, and to work together in a ministry that impacts our world for Your Kingdom.
Though for the Day:
Pointing out
the good we see in our mate is a positive habit we can all cultivate - praise
more and criticize less; find ways to compliment integrity, hard work,
faithfulness, loyalty, selflessness, humility, diligence, and a job well done.
