Relationships
at home, vocation, church, friends and with extended family take a great deal
of work. We get weary of conflict, disagreements, struggles and the effort that
it requires to live in harmony with others.
There
comes a time in many relationships where we get stuck in the "blame
game", even years after the incident occurred. We get
"historical" on each other. We fail to forgive and move on, we may
hold a grudge, and we use the facts of the incident in future arguments.
One
reason this occurs is because one or both participants never received an
apology from the original incident. Then, if something similar happens, the
original hurt compounds the current feelings and the feud continues.
When
we fail to take responsibility for our part in the original incident, we damage
our spiritual and emotional growth and our chance for a deeply committed
relationship. As we humble our self and feel regret for our part, we can
apologize for what we said or did.
Full
compliance with each other's opinion and desires is not the answer. Yet,
neither do we need to have a winner and loser every time we have an impasse. We
can pray together to find a third alternative that we both agree on, about the
decision we are making.
This
way we do not compromise the deepest part of our self, and we do not abandon
our core beliefs, or lose our integrity. Yet, we learn each other's
preferences, needs, goals, etc. by listening intently and even reading between
the lines sometimes.
We
dwell with each other with understanding, and serve one another as Jesus served
His disciples. When conflict arises, we attempt to see it through each other's
eyes, to realize how the decision is affecting each of us, and to appreciate
one another.
We
both feel fulfilled in a relationship like this, respect each other's strength,
have patience with one another's weaknesses, and endeavor to face life's
hardships as a united force, instead of allowing the trial to sever our
friendship.
Each
person can make their own decisions that are best for their individual needs,
to agree to disagree if necessary, and to give each other the space to be the
unique person that God created, that He is perfecting, and that He called us to
be.
Prayer:
Father
God, when we live together in one accord with Your Saints and by Your Trinity,
we find peace and joy in the midst of our love for one another. We have no need
for boundaries or conditions, for excuses for our thoughts or feelings, and for
blaming each other for the issues we are facing.
Help
us to accept each other with all of our faults and foibles, and to support one
another in fulfilling our needs and convictions. Help us to be honest, and not
to sugar-coat the issues or to hide our true feelings from one another. Teach
us to honestly express how we feel, not to attempt to control the outcome of
any decision, and to live in the center of Your will for our life together.
Thought
for the Day:
As
we take a searching inventory of what is going on in our soul - our mind,
emotions and choices - and journal our innermost thoughts, impressions, and
desires, we come to understand what we truly need and want; then, we can
honestly communicate our feelings to our self, to others, and to God in prayer.
