I
had a temper problem and did not understand why? My outburst were like a
volcano - quick and powerful. I did not realize the deep scars I was leaving on
those in the way of my eruptions, until I came face-to-face with someone who
did more than complain about them.
After
22 years, my first husband divorced me…mainly because of these emotional
tirades. I did not curse or belittle anyone, but I did YELL at the top of my
lungs! He said he could not handle it anymore.
I
tried to explain that the same emotional make-up in me that allowed me to laugh
hysterically at his jokes and attempts at humor, which he loved, was the same
emotional drive that caused me to express my angry feelings, but this did no
good.
Two
years later, my new husband came to the same impasse in our marriage; yet, he
was willing to help me to unravel the reasons behind my anger.
We
discovered two culprits:
1.
I had years of pent up anger fueling each eruption.
2.
I only got angry when someone diminished the importance of my needs when I
calmly expressed them; or if they made a decision that affected my life,
without giving me to chance to have a part in the details of the choice.
This
gave us something with which to work. I attended several sessions of
Transformational Prayer, and God revealed some deep-seated wounds from my past
that I had no conscious memory of, but were buried deep in my subconscious
mind.
Then,
my current husband cared enough to change his behavior. He started taking my
issues seriously, even when he saw no value or importance in them. He realized
that I had a perspective as a woman that he did not have as a man.
He
also stopped making decisions, which affected me, until he discussed them with
me first. At times, we discovered an impasse, and we prayed together for God to
reveal a third option on which we could both agree. This is a mainstay for the
success of our marriage.
Prayer:
Father
God, thank You for revealing the root causes of my anger and for giving us these
solutions, which made a huge difference in our relationship. Our love and
understanding for one another grows deeper each day as You taught us to play
together, as well as to pray together about the issues of each day.
Having
more fun times to share also improved our relationship. Thank You for caring so
deeply and for giving us Your Word to teach us how to have healthy, personal
relationships with one another and with You. We are so grateful for Your
presence in our life, and for our union with Your Trinity each moment of it.
Thought
for the Day:
Biblical
Tips on Resolving Anger Issues:
· Psalm 4:4 - When we
feel negative emotions, we need to go to a private spot and reflect on what is
causing them, so that God can reveal to us the reasons behind them.
· James 1:20 - We use
anger to protect our self when we are hurt, afraid, rejected, unappreciated,
disparaged, or neglected; but anger does the opposite, because it opens us up
to believe the devil's lies and to fall into his destruction. Forgiveness is
the key to relinquishing anger.
