From Frightened to Freedom

As a young wife and mother of three, my life was hectic at best. On top of this, I viewed life and reacted to its challenges and issues from a codependent and perfectionistic attitude - double trouble.

I wanted to please everyone, so they would like and love me; I thought that the only way to accomplish this feat was to be perfect. I was under the delusion that if I loved and served everyone - even to the detriment of myself - they would love me in return.

However, all I did was to teach people to take me for granted and to treat me like a doormat and their unpaid servant - chief cook, bottle washer, baby sitter, housekeeper and problem solver. People took advantage of me, which stressed me out even further.

I even did this with God. I attempted to keep every "jot and tittle of the law" (Matthew 5:18), hoping to please God with my undying service, in order to earn His love. I turned into a foolish "Galatian" and ran myself ragged, meeting myself coming and going (Galatians 3:1-3).

Stress kept me from sleeping and sleeplessness made me grouchy, which caused me to be short-tempered with those I loved. I hated who I was…I hated me, but I had no idea how to change things.

My self-esteem was in the bottom of the tank and I felt like I was drowning in the details of life. Finally, in desperation, I started researching codependence: what caused it and how to get free from it.

I learned that I had to stop neglecting my own needs every day and to allow others to meet their own needs once in a while. The books promised that they would still love me anyway, even if I did not "earn" it.

I figured that even if they did not love me, then they had no true feelings for me in the first place. I also translated this into the spiritual realm. God already loved me when I was a lost sinner, and He would always love me unconditionally (Romans 5:8); therefore, I could enter His rest and enjoy His favor.

This fact stopped the codependence dead in its tracks. I did a 180 degree turn around and walked away from this driven lifestyle. God's Spirit broke the shackles of expectations that I allowed to chain me to a meager existence.

When I entered into God's rest, I found a security and warmth that I missed all my life. Over the ensuing years, the comfort of God's rest brought me more peace and joy than I ever dreamed possible; and He continually supplies all of my needs with His glorious riches.

Prayer:

Father God, thank You so much for Your grace and mercy, which lead us in Your everlasting way (John 10:28-30; 1 Peter 5:10). You teach us lessons all along life's path and You bring us into ever-increasing intimacy with Your presence within us. When we let go of the impossible demands of pleasing people and focus instead on walking by the direction of Your Spirit moment by moment, we enter into Your rest, we receive Your gift of mercy and love, and we learn to trust in Your wisdom.

Due to Christ's saving redemption on Calvary's cross, we are no longer slaves of the demon of perfectionism. Instead, we follow the leading of Your Spirit and rest in Your goodness and grace. We trust in You with our whole heart; acknowledge You in all of our thoughts, words and deeds; and glorify You as You direct our paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Thought for the Day:

God invites us to bask in His love; abide in His peace and hide under His wings when life scares us (Psalm 91:4); we learn to accept love when it is given and to serve others only when God's Spirit leads us to do so; this prevents burn-out and promotes joy in living regardless of our circumstances.

Hidden with Christ in God - Part 1 - My Initial Reaction

When I first read the words, "hidden with Christ in God", I was angry. It was not until my mid-forties that I discovered my true self; and I was not willing to give up my new found autonomy and be demoted and hidden in the background once again.

I had just learned, from the loving tutelage of my employer, that I am a person too and that I have rights and privileges that no one prior to this point, myself included, had ever allowed me to enjoy.

My father was autocratic and bombastic by nature (the Italian Mafia type). Due to my insecurities, fears and codependent attitude, I taught my friends and extended family to treat me as an appendage rather than as a viable member of their society. I lived like a doormat most of the time.

Then, out of nowhere, when I reached my limit of patience or was extremely wounded by someone's treatment of me, I used anger to attempt to wrestle away from others their control over my life. This often left them puzzled, resentful and wounded in return.

Therefore, when I read that verse in the Bible, I did not want to be hidden away again. I had no desire to give up the ground I gained when I realized my freedom as a person to be accepted, listened to and part of the decisions made concerning my life.

As I prayed about this verse, God showed me that He wants us to be hidden with Christ in Him, because He desires that we live in constant fellowship with Him, intimately knowing Him and Christ whom He sent (John 17:3).

He wants His rivers of living water to flow in us, through us and out of us and upon everyone we come in contact with throughout our day (John 7:38). He changes the course of lives through Christ in us.

I knew that I could ultimately trust God with every aspect of my life, so I totally submitted to His desire to hide me with Christ in Him (Isaiah 57:15). I want Him to use all of me, holding nothing back from Him, to further His Kingdom in the earth.

Prayer:

Father God, as You search our heart, You understand the motives behind our thoughts, words and actions (1 Chronicles 28:9). Your ways and thoughts are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9). As we trust in You, we come to realize that in times of stress and trials, You hide us with Christ in You.

This is not a negative concept to belittle us or to force us to abandon our true self, but it is actually teaching us that our true identity is in Christ alone. Thank You for revealing Yourself to us (Psalm 18:2; 62:6; Exodus 33:22). Help us to live as imitators of Christ, as Your beloved children (Ephesians 5:1; 1 Corinthians 11:1).

Thought for the Day:

Our Rock of Ages is ever present to help us in our time of need, but if we only seek His provision, we will never be happy; however, if we seek Him and His presence in our life, we will live a fulfilled life regardless of our circumstances.
- Isaiah 26:4

Remember Who You Are

 

Our own free will is the only entity preventing Jesus Christ from living in and through us. Even after salvation, our soul can choose to walk according to the flesh, rather than according to God’s Spirit. However, we no longer have any need to wallow in the degradation of sin, which leads to the pit of destruction (Psalm 40:2). We are permanently set free from sin by the power of God in our life (Romans 6:18). Our humanity is dead and buried with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3).

We are raised with Christ by the glory of our Father to walk in a brand new life (Romans 6:4). We no longer need to live as a doormat or to allow our self to be abused. We can move if we are tormented, and pray for God to deliver our loved one. However, if we are safe, then Christ in us will love that putrid drunk, annoying child, demented senior, irritating neighbor, cruel parent or selfish spouse through us. It is impossible to do this in our human strength.

We are able to meet our own needs and look to our Father to supply them, but we must allow Christ to love this impossible person through us. Born Again Believers are crucified with Christ (Romans 2:20). Christ is our whole life now, and nothing else really matters (Colossians 3:4). However, we no longer have to live according to the flesh; we can permanently walk in the Spirit, controlled and guided by Him in everything we think, say, feel and do (Galatians 5:16-26, Amplified Bible).

The real power over sin is to realize who we are in Christ. All the attributes of the triune Godhead – the Father, Son and Holy Spirit – are resident within our Born Again spirit. God makes His everlasting dwelling place in our spirit. We have the holy character of Christ occupying our soul. The divine love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, meekness, self-control and faith of Jesus Christ are manifested through our soul every moment of every day for the rest of our life. Remember to Whom you belong.

Prayer:

Father God, You call us Saints. That is our position in Christ. Christ in us makes us holy and acceptable to You. You want to love the lost and dying world through us. We simply need to decide to allow You to express Yourself through us. We no longer have to figure anything out. We just need to live and move and have our entire being in You (Acts 17:28; Romans 8:1), at the same time that You live in and through us (Colossians 1:27). You immerse us in Your life and love. We wait on Your direction and follow the leading of Your Holy Spirit to allow you to accomplish Your will in the earth, just as Jesus performed Your will when He walked upon the earth (John 5:19,30).

Thought for the Day:

Allow God’s perfect love to flow through your every thought, word and deed.

He First Loved Us

Read: John 13: 34-35

“If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.” - 1 John 4: 20

People need love. They want to feel cherished, cared for and needed. When they do not receive this affirmation, they get discouraged and lose hope. God calls Christians to love. As we love others, we show gratitude to God and prove to the world that we are followers of Jesus Christ (John 13: 34-35). As we love, we mirror the joy and peace found only in Jesus. We are an extension of Christ’s love to everyone in our sphere of influence.

There are three main types of love: Eros, Philio and Agape. Eros is physical love and involves a chemical cocktail of adrenalin, dopamine, and serotonin that attracts us to certain other people. Philio is from our soul. It is the love of friends for one another. Agape is God’s love. His love transcends the physical and emotional realms of life. Therefore, it is possible to continue to love someone that we no longer feel physically attracted to or have any type of friendship with any longer. Christ’s love is self-sacrificing, yet not codependently so.

I am not talking about being a doormat, or allowing people to abuse us or to treat us rudely. Christ does not encourage us to stop caring for our own needs. If we do not love ourselves first, we can never love someone else (Mark 12:31). Jesus wore the best clothes (John 19:23-24); yet he did not have a place to lay His head (Matthew 8:20). He did not seek worldly gain at another’s expense. He did, however, have everything He needed. The balance in enjoying a healthy sense of love for our “self” here has nothing to do with selfish ambition or vain conceit, but with humility in considering others better than our selves (Philippians 2:3) at the same time that we make sure our needs are met as well.

Dysfunctional love exists in our human relationships as a symptom of our spiritual disease. This maladjusted love is not in balance and harmony with God’s love. Fairytales and romance novels make us believe that we have to be in a relationship in order to be whole or complete. This is not true. We are not “halves” that cannot be whole without a relationship. As long as we believe that we need to have another person in our life in order to be happy and to feel loved, we are really using that person as our drug of choice.

The actual cause of this feeling of disconnection within us is our detachment from our Spiritual Source…Jesus Christ. This is toxic love and it will eventually kill us. We are addicted to the euphoria of another person’s presence for as long as these feelings last in our soul. Some people change the object of their obsession more often than rain waters the earth. That is not God’s true love - nor is it loving in the way that God intended. Christ’s love defies natural affection and loves in spite of the recipient’s attitude and behavior. God’s love works miracles in people’s lives. We receive God’s love unconditionally. Therefore, we can love our self and others unconditionally, because He first loved us (Romans 5:8). When we share His love, we bring glory and honor to His name.

God calls us to love others as Jesus loves us. Jesus loved us enough to leave the riches of Heaven, even though we are completely unlovable and sinful. This level of love inspires us to demonstrate this same love to one another. Sacrificial love gives and considers the needs of others ahead of our own, but not to the exclusion of our own needs. We give of our time, talents, empathy and even our material resources, if possible. We rejoice when others rejoice, and we cry when others hurt. Most of all, we forgive even the vilest offender, simply because Jesus forgave us.

Prayer:

Lord Jesus, help us to purify ourselves by obeying the truth, so that we have sincere love for our brothers. You showed us how to love one another deeply, from the heart (1 Peter 1:22). Help us to follow Your example. I want to give everyone what I owe him, including respect and honor (Romans 13:7).

Thought for the Day:

Unconditionally love yourself, just as you love those closest to you, despite their faults.