A Good Marriage - Sandpaper Spouse

 

Over time, our spouse often turns into a "sandpaper" person who gets on our nerves…an irritation that causes abrasions and discomfort on our soul. We want to turn away from them, rather than to embrace them.

However, this only compounds the irritation, because they try harder to gain our attention and to communicate their needs. They are like the continual drip of a leaky faucet - nerve wracking, torture to our soul (Proverbs 25:24, 27:15).

We tend to avoid and ignore them or to brush them aside, taking them for granted and not showering them with love, gratitude and affirmation they are crying out to receive.

We do not want to be bothered by their neediness. We start to resent them and Satan helps bitterness and anger to grow in our soul toward them. This makes them more insecure and increases their neediness and pleas for our attention and help.

We often attempt to placate them, give them a pat on the head and expect them to go away and to take care of their own needs. Unfortunately, although they do minister to many of their own needs and the needs of others in your sphere of family, church family and friends, some of what they need can only be supplied by their spouse…and that is YOU! 

We say that we "love" them, but Agape love looks beyond their behavior or words to the cry of their soul. We access God's compassion and see His desire for us to minister to them as the spouse He created us to be. 

We start focusing on their needs, and appreciating all the little things they do for us each and every day.

Surprisingly, this loving attention will help to heal much of their behavior which irritates us in the first place. They will be more secure in our relationship with them and more content with life in general.

Prayer:

Father God, teach us that we can accomplish much more to alleviate the irritation of the Sandpaper People in our life by giving them our undivided and focused attention, taking them seriously when they share their needs, and working out with them a solution to their issues that we can fit into our regular, daily schedule.

At times, this requires sacrifice on our part. You teach us to alter our priorities to include them, to take time away from our pursuits to meet their needs, or to focus on their needs as well as on our own. We have to lay down our life for them, and we tend to resent this. Help us to gain the mind of Christ in our relationships and to cherish those You place in our life as the treasure that they truly are.

Thought for the Day:

Loving Sandpaper People in the way that they need to be loved, not in a way that makes our life easier or decreases our responsibility to them, makes them feel special and improves our quality of life as well as theirs; we stop treating them as the hired help and realize that they are the treasures that God intends for them to be in our life.

Emotional and Mental Health - Eliminating Anxiety

Life is insecure at best and terrifying at its worse. People say that bad things happen in threes, but at times in my life, I have counted five or six stressful catastrophes in a row.

I learned early on in life not to expect anything good to happen. That way, when good did happen, I was mildly pleased; but when it did not occur, I was not overly disappointed either.

As an authentic Believer, we learn to cast all of our anxious thoughts on God's strong shoulders - to leave them in His benevolent heart and to have faith in His faithfulness instead of in people (Mark 10:22; 1 Peter 5:7).

As we turn our attention away from our self and onto helping other people, we continue to heal from anxiety. This brings inner peace because we help to ease another's burdens and we find fulfillment in sharing our abilities and resources.

As we pray during each moment for God's will and direction, we acknowledge that God is in control of our life (Proverbs 3:5-6; Philippians 4:6-8). This reduces anxiety quicker than any mantra or affirmation we can repeat.

God orders our steps and gives us the grace to enter into His rest (Hebrews 13:5). His presence in our life allows Him to provide serenity in anxious situations. He helps us to set priorities and to follow them.

This habit is comforting and provides us with a routine to which we can establish and adhere. Routine limits anxious feelings and defines our responsibilities according to the will of God, rather than our own stressful agenda.

I do not hide from life any longer. I know from experience that our Daddy God is faithful, I experience security by walking in His presence and praying without ceasing, and I find fulfillment and peace in the comfort of the shadow of His wings.

Prayer:

Father God, remind us that prayer is not created for us to manipulate You or to demand that You do our bidding in our way and timing. Our communication with You is for our benefit, however; and we do not need to wait for a crisis, which we can no longer control before we come to You. We wait in silence until we discover Your will for us during each moment of our day.

Thank You for giving us Your peace, which transcends any comfort the world attempts to provide for us. You are only a prayer away; and yet we fail to avail our self to the intimacy of our union with You. Thank You for abiding within us with Your presence and for filling us with Your Spirit and fruit.

Thought for the Day:

God is not our puppet to manipulate according to our will, but our Savior and King whom we willingly serve according to His will and way; He is not obligated to grant our wishes, but He chooses to give us only the best that we need to live a fulfilling life.

WHO LOVES YOU - Part 1 - The Love of the Father

God is head over heels in love with you (1 John 4: 8-11). God’s love is a spiritual, physical, mental and emotional “high”. Human love is merely a shadow of His love.

If the earth’s axis tilted a degree in any direction, if the stars fell from the sky, if a large solar storm erupted on the sun, if the oceans exceeded their boundaries, if animals no longer had an innate fear of man, if all the molten lava in the earth erupted at once, we would all die.

God’s hand, keeping the earth in perfect balance, keeps us all living and breathing and existing on planet earth. The natural order of the universe proves to us that God loves us.

God constantly draws my attention to the fact that He is touching me with evidences of His love through a variety of means. I call them God's Little Hugs.

When we repent of our sin, we realize that God actually chose us and adopted us as His beloved children. With God’s love, we do not need another person in our life in order to feel loved, affirmed and validated.

 

He reveals His love through things like a bird’s outstretched wings, a perfect rose, a lady bug, the shapes of the clouds, the waves of the sea, the seasons of the year, a red cardinal chirping through my open window and in the numbers on the clock.

Escaping a devastating calamity is another occasion when we feel the love of God. When we see His hand protecting us from sudden and sure destruction and danger, our hearts swell with incredible gratitude and love for God.

To realize that God actually intervened for you makes you feel so precious, cared about and loved. At times like these we feel His love surrounding us and keeping us safe.

His love flows through us and out of us to everyone He brings into contact with us. He restores us with His joy and upholds with His generous Spirit (Psalm 51:10-12).

Prayer:

Father God, when our heart is open to Your love, we can feel it pouring over us like a waterfall. We are drenched with Your continual love. Even the cells in our body are full of Your love.

I often feel like I am wrapped in a soft, fluffy blanket of Your love. Your love gives us such a sense of security. Unsurpassed peace and joy flood our soul – our mind, will and emotions. We give You all the glory and praise and depend on Your love and Spirit to fill and guide us through every moment of our life.

Thought for the Day:

All through the day, I have learned to watch for the unexpected ways that God tells me, "I love you!"