A Good Marriage - Sandpaper Spouse

 

Over time, our spouse often turns into a "sandpaper" person who gets on our nerves…an irritation that causes abrasions and discomfort on our soul. We want to turn away from them, rather than to embrace them.

However, this only compounds the irritation, because they try harder to gain our attention and to communicate their needs. They are like the continual drip of a leaky faucet - nerve wracking, torture to our soul (Proverbs 25:24, 27:15).

We tend to avoid and ignore them or to brush them aside, taking them for granted and not showering them with love, gratitude and affirmation they are crying out to receive.

We do not want to be bothered by their neediness. We start to resent them and Satan helps bitterness and anger to grow in our soul toward them. This makes them more insecure and increases their neediness and pleas for our attention and help.

We often attempt to placate them, give them a pat on the head and expect them to go away and to take care of their own needs. Unfortunately, although they do minister to many of their own needs and the needs of others in your sphere of family, church family and friends, some of what they need can only be supplied by their spouse…and that is YOU! 

We say that we "love" them, but Agape love looks beyond their behavior or words to the cry of their soul. We access God's compassion and see His desire for us to minister to them as the spouse He created us to be. 

We start focusing on their needs, and appreciating all the little things they do for us each and every day.

Surprisingly, this loving attention will help to heal much of their behavior which irritates us in the first place. They will be more secure in our relationship with them and more content with life in general.

Prayer:

Father God, teach us that we can accomplish much more to alleviate the irritation of the Sandpaper People in our life by giving them our undivided and focused attention, taking them seriously when they share their needs, and working out with them a solution to their issues that we can fit into our regular, daily schedule.

At times, this requires sacrifice on our part. You teach us to alter our priorities to include them, to take time away from our pursuits to meet their needs, or to focus on their needs as well as on our own. We have to lay down our life for them, and we tend to resent this. Help us to gain the mind of Christ in our relationships and to cherish those You place in our life as the treasure that they truly are.

Thought for the Day:

Loving Sandpaper People in the way that they need to be loved, not in a way that makes our life easier or decreases our responsibility to them, makes them feel special and improves our quality of life as well as theirs; we stop treating them as the hired help and realize that they are the treasures that God intends for them to be in our life.