Healing Relationships - Part 4

When our soul begins to heal, our personality, behavior and beliefs change. This may put our partner on the defensive and cause them to feel insecure.

Our relationship changes from independent, dependent or codependent to interdependent, and our family and friends are not used to it.

The healthy changes, which we make, will bring healing in our body, soul and spirit. It will help us to establish an interdependence with our mate, as they get used to the changes.

It will limit our negative reactions to one another, improve feelings of self-worth, change the way we meet our own needs and give us more energy to serve others as God’s Spirit leads us according to His will, rather than by codependent urges.

Intimacy increases, expectations decrease, and in conflict we blend differing ideas into a whole new concept on which we both agree. We are mutually interdependent with one another.

Unresolved disagreements cause a couple, which normally live in an atmosphere of cooperation, to form independent lives that disrupt their interdependence.

Interdependence means that it is healthy to have differing ideas, hobbies, interests, likes and dislikes, because these differences bring variety to the relationship.

Interdependence is living in a mutually reciprocal relationships. It is about forming intimate connections with another human being. We share the decision-making process in our relationship and mutually care about one another’s welfare and feelings.

We are conscious in our choices, own responsibility for the consequences of our actions, and readily admit when we are wrong.

We enjoy deeper, more meaningful associations, and greater productivity, service, contribution and growth in our relationship.

We cherish, appreciate, admire, respect, enjoy, love and care about one another, and we never miss an opportunity to affirm and to validate one another.

Prayer:

Father God, help those of us with wounds from the past to heal and to have the wisdom and courage to develop an interdependent relationship with our partner, children, co-workers, associates and church family.

Give us patience with them as they too heal from the wounds of their past. Then allow us to serve You together in our individual gifts and calling, according to Your will for each of our lives.

Thought for the Day:

Interdependent relationships bring harmony and enjoyment to any marriage, partnership or community.

Understanding Negaitve Emotions - Part 2

 

One reason that addictions are so prevalent in our society is that people are attempting to anesthetize their pain from past trauma. Until we face the pain from the past, we will never be free from it. Many fear experiencing that pain all over again and refuse to address these issues. What they fail to realize is that the pain already affects them every day of their life and causes them to react negatively to current circumstances (Psalm 25:17). They are doping instead of coping.

God is able to heal us of any trauma from our past and to free us to live a victorious future. Pilgrim’s Progress, by Paul Bunyan, is a story about a man who carries a load of baggage with him everywhere he goes. Through the story, he brings this baggage to the cross of Christ and finally lays them down. We do this same thing. We carry emotional baggage that gets heavier with each day we live. This baggage ends up controlling our reactions to life.

Satan rages war with us on the battleground of our mind. He uses our thoughts to infiltrate our soul and to influence our emotions. Then once he controls our mind and emotions, he can also control our will and our actions. This is why Paul encourages us to think only on positive thoughts (Philippians 4:8). In order to get rid of Satan’s negative influence and to think only on positive aspects, we come before the Lord in total surrender and sit quietly and listen to His voice.

Dismissing any distractions, we submit our negative thoughts to God’s microscope and use the principles in Part 1 of this series on Understanding Negative emotions to uncover their root cause. Once we uncover Satan’s lie, we can walk in God’s truth. This allows our emotional baggage to fall away. Sure, we will feel negative emotions again, but they will not be empowered by the pain of our past.

Prayer:

Father God, thank You for offering us a way to discard the negative emotions of the past, so we are free to walk in Your freedom and power each day of our life. Help us to concentrate only on whatever is true, righteous, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8). Help us to live lives that are so full of holiness that the unsaved will see our good works and glorify You (Matthew 5:16; 1 Peter 2:12). Allow Your peace to transport us through any negative circumstance we encounter (Philippians 4:7).

Thought for the Day: Christ in us is our whole life, and we mature to walk in unity with Him. - Colossians 3:4