A Good Marriage - Common Ground

Winning is not the ultimate prize of life; it is the manner in which we finish the race that counts the most. It is often the last straggler across the finish line that receives the most attention, because they persevered to the very end.

Winning an argument is not necessary to feel validated either. We can concede that we are wrong, if indeed we are, without any shame or recrimination.

We have a viewpoint that differs from our employer's, friend's, neighbor's, child's, parent's or spouse's perspective; but no less right or wrong than theirs.

There is nothing heroic about destroying a marriage, because we soon realize that we were acting as pawns on Satan's game board, playing right into his hands and wreaking havoc for generations to come.

If both parties in a disagreement are willing to bear with one another and to lay our life down for each other, there is always a way to peacefully resolve all issues and to avoid fighting and drama.

Neither of us is the enemy, we are simply fellow sojourners in this life with equal rights and privileges in the family of God. Quickly apologizing from the heart for any hurt we cause during a disagreement goes a long way in keeping unity in our relations.

Repairing our relationships is so much more mature than rending them in half and going our separate ways - leaving a trail of broken hearts and lives behind us. A trained counselor can help us to negotiate our differences.

Seeking wisdom from God's Word and His Spirit during times of prayer can also help us to breach any gaps in our unity. We negotiate until we find common ground on which to stand.

Prayer:

Father God, You remind us not to separate what You bind together. You admonish us not to break any vow that we make, but to honor our commitment to one another with charity, patience and kindness. You want us to work together to find an equitable solution to any conflicts in our marriage, as well as in our affiliations at work and in Your Body.

Give us Your wisdom to maintain peace and to show Your agape love to those who wound us; to turn the other cheeks and to bear with one another's idiosyncrasies and foibles. Give us patience to love one another as Christ loves the church; so we can represent living sacrifices as a testimony to an unbelieving world.

Thought for the Day:

There is nothing heroic in winning at the cost of someone else's expense; but in laying down our life and serving one another with the love of our Father toward us.

Do Feelings Control Us?

We often experience feelings which we cannot express. We can communicate our basic mood such as happy, sad, mad, glad, frustrated, etc. However, we cannot distinctly and clearly share how we really feel unless we develop a more detailed vocabulary

( http://wire.wisc.edu/quizzesnmore/emotionwords.aspx ).

What type of happy do we feel? Glad or elated? Are we simply sad or actually depressed or devastated? Are we mad or annoyed or fuming? Expressing in more detail how we feel helps us to better understand our self, and allows others to better understand us.

Our feelings can totally overwhelm our soul. We believe that we must act on them or explode. Sometimes we do explode and end up wounding other people that we really care about.

Feelings are red flags to enable us to see how our environment is effecting us. We do not have to act on them, but we can use them to change our environment for the better.

We cannot control other people, but we can control our choices. If someone makes a choice that is intolerable to us, we can make our own choice to temporarily remove our self from that situation until it is resolved.

Our feelings do not define us, but they do express how our environment is affecting us. As we are aware of and describe what we are feeling, we can make changes to turn our negative feelings into positive ones.

We may change our focus, or we can change the situation, or we can pray for God's deliverance from an unhealthy or unholy or unsuitable situation or environment, which we cannot change.

Journaling helps us to sort out our feelings; then if want to keep our feelings private, we can rip the page to shreds or burn it in the campfire or a coffee can!

The important point is to acknowledge and provide for our self, which is using our feelings to indicate what we really need. When we validate our self, we affirm that we are special and loved unconditionally.

God gave us feelings for our good, and we should pay attention to our soul and how life is impacting us. This gives us a sense of being cared for, if by no one other than our Daddy God and our self. Sometimes, that is all we really need.

Prayer:
Father God, as we trust in and rely on You to know what is best for us, You always hear us from Your holy hill and You turn even the worse situation into blessings for our eventual good. We come to a breaking point in our life where we let go of control and dive into the current of life. Instead of fighting the circumstances, we go with Your flow as You use us for Your Kingdom work.

At times we cling to our feelings as a defense or as a reason to hide from reality or truth. We use them as a weapon and slay with our words what we perceive as the opposition. Your Word encourages us that a soft answer turns away wrath (Proverbs 15:1). Teach us to respond with a soft answer, no matter how upset we feel, and remind us that we are Your special children and that You love us beyond words.

Thought for the Day:

We can acknowledge our emotions and allow them to explain how our situation is affecting us, but then we can let them go and pray for God's wisdom to see more clearly what action is needed to rectify the situation.

Your Life Matters

 

As we grow up, we tend to put away childish things. As adults, we take on too many responsibilities and we neglect our self. Eventually we have a break down.

We may physically run away from our responsibilities or our soul may make our body sick in order to escape the pressures of daily life. There is a much more effective way to stop the feelings of being overwhelmed by life.

We can simplify our life by removing any activity or responsibility that is not necessary for the well-being of our self or our family. Also, be sure to make time for play in the midst of the daily grind.

We often have our children in too many activities. Simplify by enrolling them in just one extra activity other than school. They do not need sports and dance and music classes all at one time. See what they are really interested in and just do one class.

A birthday party does not need to be a momentous event involving elaborate decorations, special themes and their whole class. It can be a few of their closest friends and a simple cake, ice cream and juice.

Are we too involved at work, going the extra mile to impress our boss, working late or extra shifts in order to get that promotion, raise or coveted praise? Simplify by maintaining the required hours and then going home.

Do we function in too many ministries at church? We all have a place to serve, but none of us can do it all. Pick just one thing that you are passionate about and serve in that ministry. You can always change to another ministry later on if you have more than one passion.

Maybe we feel abused, misunderstood, unappreciated, neglected, insecure or fearful. These are valid feelings and we can acknowledge them as such and validate that we are a person too and that we matter.

Do not allow negative self-talk to belittle or to criticize your feelings. Your feelings are real and deserve to be validated as valuable and important. What is stressing out your soul right now? What is causing the negative emotions currently plaguing your soul?

Spend some time getting to know your inner soul - your thoughts, feelings and choices. Journal and write uncensored thoughts about how you are feeling, what you are thinking and why you are making your current choices.

Follow the Serenity Prayer and correct anything in your power to change, accept those things you cannot change by changing your focus about them, and trust God to change or to empower you to face those impossible challenges in your life.

Give yourself little breaks during the day to prop up your feet, have a soda or cup of tea, take a walk in nature, rock or swing on the porch or at the park, sit in the sun for a few moments and soak up those healing rays, do some deep breathing exercises, listen to your favorite music, watch a movie or read a novel just for fun.

Start a new hobby that gives you time for yourself, but make sure that it does not add to your already stressful schedule. Just something simple like a craft, an adult coloring book, needlework, walking, swimming, gourmet cooking class or baking a special dessert and sharing it with those you love.

Climb a tree, jump rope, learn to paint or play an instrument, cuddle a stuffed toy, pet the cat, make a batch of cookies or jam, frame photos of yourself as a child and hang them on the wall with your other photos, wrap up in your favorite blanket or quilt and take a short nap.

Grieve your losses, no matter what they are - big or small they are all important. Give yourself permission to cry; tears are healing and they wash away our grief. They also help us to relieve pent up stress and emotion.

Prayer:

Father God, help us to treat our self as a human being rather than as a machine. Remind us that the good thing in life often become the enemy of the best things. You have a special plan for each life, so help us to walk in it. Give us wisdom in making our decisions, prevent us from overly scheduling our day with too many activities. Help us to take breaks and to give our self a little treat or to take time to breathe in Your Spirit and to give You praise.

We want to honor You with our life and to stop allowing the good things to rob us of walking by Your Spirit and fulfilling Your plan for our life. Teach us to care for our own needs as well as everyone else's and prevent us from being so busy we cannot enjoy our time with family, friends and especially with You.

Thought for the Day:

Never fill your life so full of activities that you actually feel overwhelmed by all of the responsibilities that you have accepted as your own.