Knowing and Accepting Our True Inner Self

As a young teenager, I often wondered why I felt and thought and acted in certain ways. Then, in a Psychology course in college, I learned about the four personality types: Choleric, Melancholy, Phlegmatic and Sanguine.

Each one has certain characteristics inherent to that type of personality, and we are all one of these or a combination of two or more of them. This diversity makes the world go around in interesting patterns and interactions.

As one with a melancholy personality, I find myself quietly considering what goes on around me with reflection and prayer. I have no interest in participating in superficial conversations or activities.

Therefore, I listen more than I talk, and I do not join in conversations very often, unless the Holy Spirit reminds me of something that might benefit the hearers.

However, I am very interested in the people in my life. I deeply care about them and am always wanting to know what issues they have that I can lift up for them in prayer. I look deeply into a person's eyes - the windows of their soul, so that I can effectively express Agape love and concern for each individual.

I usually view decisions as black and white, but I have to remind myself that my view is not always the right way. Life's choices are full of the various hues of color, and this really appeals to the artistic side of my nature.

Sometimes I appear hard-hearted, because of my prophetic nature. People who label me as such do not really know the true me very well; because my heart is always like melted butter, and I actually feel another's pain in both my body and my soul. 

People look to me as a Pastor's wife to lead them and to take charge in ministries that are lacking leadership. However, my passive personality does not make for a good leader, and I am much more comfortable as a helper to those visionaries who need followers. 

I used to worry about the future, and about negative possibilities that I might reap due to my husband's actions and reactions. God healed me from this stressful characteristic, however, by teaching me to live in the moment and to let tomorrow worry about itself (Matthew 6:34).

I am always curious to discover the reason behind what it going on in the world abroad and in my own life. I turn these concerns into prayer, because I learned that I cannot control life and that God has everything under His divine care.

Prayer:

Father God, remind me to curb my natural inclination to speak into a person's life. Instead I need to offer advice only when someone asks me for it. Then, when I do speak, help me to convey the love and concern that I actually feel, instead of coming across as critical and distant.

Help me to overcome my natural inclination not to feel at home in a crowd and to prefer silence and solitude. Please use my penchant to be introspective, and to hang around on the outskirts of a gathering, in ways that will glorify You.

Thought for the Day:

Several years ago, I learned that every moment of our life is in God's capable hands, so we have nothing to worry about; instead, we can focus on loving others as Christ loved His church.

God is in Control - Through Troubles and Trials

We live in a world that often frightens us. Unexpected trials and trouble attack us from every side when we least anticipate them; so we develop the mentality of fear and apprehension.

We constantly wait for the next shoe to drop, anticipating trauma around every corner and never allowing our self to believe in or hope for the best. This continues until we realize that every day in Jesus is better than the day before.

As a melancholy personality, I struggled for years to come to this place of total trust in God's goodness and to have faith in His faithfulness and perfect peace in His will for me, regardless of how bad the circumstances seemed.

Very few of the imaginary worse case scenarios, which occupy our mind, ever materialize. We end up worrying for nothing; and spending time, when we could be praising God with our thoughts, in trying to be prepared for ever circumstance life may possibly throw at us.

Elections, terrorists, natural disasters, financial strain and insecurity, disease, strained relationships, etc. all dim in importance when we realize in our spirit and our soul that, if we live in total surrender, God is in control of every aspect of our life.

Life as an authentic, Born Again Believer teaches us that life in Christ is an adventure. We are already dead with Christ in God, living in His abundant rest, walking in His Spirit and enjoying His perfect will for our life.

Trouble is merely a tiny bump in the road when we hide under the shadow of God's wings and allow Him to live life in and through us. Fear, anxiety, insecurities and worry no longer overwhelm our soul, and our spirit draws strength and life from Christ within us.

We live, move and have our being in Christ (Acts 17:28). God's Spirit controls all of our decisions, trials and troubles. The shadow of darkness in this world is dispelled by the light of Christ within us.

Prayer:

Father God, as we learn to trust in You, the issues which formerly sent us into the pit of despair, no longer rock our world. We learn over the days of our life spent in Your presence, that You have a perfect plan for our life (Ephesians 2:10). If we pray without ceasing, walk in Your Spirit each moment of our day and trust in Your unfailing love and mercy, we have joy even in our trials (James 1:2-8).

Remind us to replace the negative self-talk and lies straight from the pit of hell with the Truth of Your Word, which is alive and powerful and able to separate the worries of our soul from the faith in our spirit (Hebrews 4:12). Give us Your grace to see us through the days when our faith wanes and the waters threaten to drown us (Habakkuk 3:7-19).

Thought for the Day:

Although the closets are bare, we have no job, the garden is overcome by weeds, the grocery prices are way beyond our means, our savings is depleted, and our relationships are hopeless, we can still rejoice in the Lord, because He is the God of our salvation, our strength, our provision, and our enabler in every area of our life. - Habakkuk 3:7-19

 

Attitudes Count

What is an attitude? It is a state of mind, a prevailing thought and it influences every aspect of our life. As a melancholy from birth, my attitude reflected a pessimistic bent.

I had a hard time seeing a glass half full, because my fearful and insecure personality saw everything as a potential problem. I was never satisfied and rarely hopeful. Depression constantly nipped at my heels.

The stresses of life intimately influence our attitude, which effects our thoughts, words and deeds. According to doctors, stress causes illness and infection to invade our physical, mental and emotional state of being.

Scientific research found a direct correlation between stress and our cortisol levels, which is supposed to help us to deal with stress. The adrenal glands produce cortisol, so we are able to flee or fight.

After we deal with the stress of a situation, the cortisol and adrenalin are supposed to subside and our body returns to normal. However, with chronic stress these chemical are constantly on high alert and affect our heart, digestion, sleep and energy level, and cause us to suffer from weight gain and adrenal fatigue.

In turn, adrenal fatigue contributes to major issues such as autoimmune disease and its accompanying illnesses. Pessimism exacerbates these issues and affects our mental and emotional status as well.

The exception to this rule is when a healthy sense of pessimism encourages us to seek wise counsel, make prudent plans and discourages us from taking unnecessary risks.

However, optimism usually works more in our favor. If we discipline our inner dialogue with our self to stay positive and trust God to help us, we will live more optimistically. Godly optimism empowers us to make a difference in our life and also in our world.

Prayer:

Father God, remind us that negative self-talk in our mind will defeat us every time. Satan whispers lies in our "ear" and we end up embracing them. Help us to stop judging or criticizing our self and others, and to be encouraging - especially to our self.

As a pessimist, life feels overwhelming to me, but I thank You for helping me to reword my self-talk and to think more positively. You changed my thought processes and are helping me to change my world by allowing Your Word to cleanse my soul and to restore to me the joy of my salvation (Psalm 51:10).

Thought for the Day:

God's Spirit will choose one aspect of our life at a time, and change our way of thinking about that issue, which helps us to change our focus about other issues as well.

Renewed Mind - Part 3 - Recovering from Wounds

My counselor listened to my brief account of my childhood and teen years and commented, "You grew up in a war zone. You are suffering from PTSD." WOW…who knew!

I thought my life was normal. I did not know other people had nurturing, cherishing homes. My parents also suffered abuse in their childhood and young adult lives.

My mother's own mother died when she was only three years old. She grew up in an alcoholic home, the only daughter with six brothers and a step-mom who had to work every day of her life.

My dad came back from the Korean War with PTSD and he took out his rage on my mom, three brothers and me. He was a mean man who did nice things now and then - a bipolar personality.

My parents did not seek healing for their wounds and passed them on to me and my three brothers by their attitude and behavior toward us, as well as by their example of coping with life.

They wounded us because of their woundedness. They taught me that I was stupid, clumsy, less than enough, had no real positive qualities and that I had to earn their love.

This deeply affected my self-esteem and how I related to other people. Satan planted these lies deep within my subconscious mind and I believed they were true.

Born with a melancholy personality, this treatment drove me further into myself by wounding my soul and corrupting my image of who I was.

I could not look at myself in the mirror. I disgusted myself. My shortcomings and failures taught me to further despise myself. I longed for unconditional love and acceptance of all of my idiosyncrasies.

At a young age, my mom became the responsible one in her childhood home, who buried her feelings and codependently served everyone else. I learned this behavior from her.

She recognized my need for self-esteem and did all in her power to give me opportunities to excel in life. Thankfully, her efforts prevented me from turning to addictions to mask my pain.

Yet, my poor self-image crippled me and hindered my success. Writing poetry saved me from committing suicide and gave me a release and even hope of a better life.

Then, at age 18, I met the Savior Jesus Christ. He started to sanctify my soul - my thoughts, choices and emotions (Philippians 4:8). He brought me to a prayer warrior who helped me to do spiritual battle and to reclaim my wounded soul for God ( www.theophostic.com ).

When I moved away from home, I received much more support from my parents. As I received healing from God in my adult life, God helped me to understand and to forgive my parents; and He used me to nurture and to partially heal my parents as well.

God spoke His truth to my soul and replaced Satan's lies and my negative self-image with His Truth. I learned to love God, love my self and love others with a pure heart.

( http://www.savedhealed.com/iamlist.htm ).

Prayer:

Father God, thank You for saving me when You did. I felt Your Holy Spirit pouring over me, and drenching every cell in my body and soul with Your love. You taught me to meet my own needs, rather than to neglect my needs or to expect others to meet them for me. I am content in Your love for me regardless of my circumstances.

You brought me to the realization that I am already dead in Christ and that He is now my whole life (Colossians 3:3-4; Galatians 2:20). The enticements of this world, sin and the devil no longer appeal to me. Thank You that Jesus balances my attitudes, opinions and goals in life.

Thought for the Day:

God taught me to find joy in my negative circumstances and to have faith in His faithfulness by changing my focus in life from carnal, earthly affairs to spiritual, eternal ones.

- Romans 8:28