Renewed Mind - Part 3 - Recovering from Wounds

My counselor listened to my brief account of my childhood and teen years and commented, "You grew up in a war zone. You are suffering from PTSD." WOW…who knew!

I thought my life was normal. I did not know other people had nurturing, cherishing homes. My parents also suffered abuse in their childhood and young adult lives.

My mother's own mother died when she was only three years old. She grew up in an alcoholic home, the only daughter with six brothers and a step-mom who had to work every day of her life.

My dad came back from the Korean War with PTSD and he took out his rage on my mom, three brothers and me. He was a mean man who did nice things now and then - a bipolar personality.

My parents did not seek healing for their wounds and passed them on to me and my three brothers by their attitude and behavior toward us, as well as by their example of coping with life.

They wounded us because of their woundedness. They taught me that I was stupid, clumsy, less than enough, had no real positive qualities and that I had to earn their love.

This deeply affected my self-esteem and how I related to other people. Satan planted these lies deep within my subconscious mind and I believed they were true.

Born with a melancholy personality, this treatment drove me further into myself by wounding my soul and corrupting my image of who I was.

I could not look at myself in the mirror. I disgusted myself. My shortcomings and failures taught me to further despise myself. I longed for unconditional love and acceptance of all of my idiosyncrasies.

At a young age, my mom became the responsible one in her childhood home, who buried her feelings and codependently served everyone else. I learned this behavior from her.

She recognized my need for self-esteem and did all in her power to give me opportunities to excel in life. Thankfully, her efforts prevented me from turning to addictions to mask my pain.

Yet, my poor self-image crippled me and hindered my success. Writing poetry saved me from committing suicide and gave me a release and even hope of a better life.

Then, at age 18, I met the Savior Jesus Christ. He started to sanctify my soul - my thoughts, choices and emotions (Philippians 4:8). He brought me to a prayer warrior who helped me to do spiritual battle and to reclaim my wounded soul for God ( www.theophostic.com ).

When I moved away from home, I received much more support from my parents. As I received healing from God in my adult life, God helped me to understand and to forgive my parents; and He used me to nurture and to partially heal my parents as well.

God spoke His truth to my soul and replaced Satan's lies and my negative self-image with His Truth. I learned to love God, love my self and love others with a pure heart.

( http://www.savedhealed.com/iamlist.htm ).

Prayer:

Father God, thank You for saving me when You did. I felt Your Holy Spirit pouring over me, and drenching every cell in my body and soul with Your love. You taught me to meet my own needs, rather than to neglect my needs or to expect others to meet them for me. I am content in Your love for me regardless of my circumstances.

You brought me to the realization that I am already dead in Christ and that He is now my whole life (Colossians 3:3-4; Galatians 2:20). The enticements of this world, sin and the devil no longer appeal to me. Thank You that Jesus balances my attitudes, opinions and goals in life.

Thought for the Day:

God taught me to find joy in my negative circumstances and to have faith in His faithfulness by changing my focus in life from carnal, earthly affairs to spiritual, eternal ones.

- Romans 8:28

The Purpose of Emotions

God gave us emotions to express our self in words full of feeling and meaning. God also has emotions and expresses them throughout His Word.

There are no bad emotions. The Bible even tells us it is acceptable to feel anger; it simply cautions us not to allow anger to push us into sin (Ephesians 4:26).

Jesus was angry at the abuse of His Father's Temple by the money changers. He allowed the anger to spur His actions, but He did not act in anger. He was determined and purposeful when He cleansed the temple (Matthew 21:12-17).

Human anger is often like a volcano, which scars the earth with lava welts. Human anger also erupts in a flash and leaves behind huge scars in the hearts of the recipients of that anger.

We should use anger as a red flag to alert us that our body or soul is wounded. Then we can express the feelings of woundedness rather than the emotion of anger.

God gave us physical feelings to bring us pleasure and to alert us of pain and any type of sensitivity. Our emotional feelings function in the same way.

They protect us from danger and injury and bring us joy. Our feelings alert us to what is happening in our spirit, body and soul. We can learn to discern and respond to these indicators.

We even have feelings of intuition, which help to keep us out of trouble. If we ignore our feelings, we will end up in trouble physically, mentally and emotionally.

This is why we need to make a searching inventory of our body, soul and spirit on a daily basis. We analyze the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual transactions going on within us.

This enables us to discern our needs and respond to them, to ask for help from our family and friends, and to seek God's will for us each moment of our day.

Prayer:

Father God, help us not to disguise or suppress our feelings, or to condemn our self for them. Remind us to use them as You intended: to protect us, to help us to enjoy life and to build more intimate relationships with You and with one another.

Teach us not to abuse our feelings by lashing out at others or by allowing our negative feelings to cripple us with bitterness or unforgiveness. Instead, we can acknowledge to You and to others how we honestly feel and what we need done to feel better.

Thought for the Day:

People who cannot honestly but kindly express their mental, physical and emotional feelings, or who are too afraid to even acknowledge their feelings, are the real fatalities in this world.

The Cost of Compassion

Consideration for others is a lost art today. We are too busy to care too deeply for anyone, not even for our self. We streak through life fast enough to repel anyone, which we think will weigh us down.

One group of people are so focused on themselves that they have no time for anyone else. They plan their day, follow their agenda and fall asleep at night with little interaction with the people who love them.

There are video games, overtime at work, television series, sports, hobbies and extra-curricular activities, which keep us so occupied that we take everyone else in our life for granted. 

Another group of people are so wounded from their past, that they have little emotional energy to expend on anyone else. The cost of showing compassion is too high, and they are emotionally bankrupt.

When we see a need, which God directs us to meet, yet we walk away, the love of God does not dwell in us (1 John 3:16-17). We are unwilling to pay the cost of compassion.

We have another purpose for our time and money and do not want to share with anyone else. Sadly, our joy from our own plans will quickly fade; and since we are out of the will of God, we cannot prosper.

Jesus gave us the example of the Good Samaritan and the father of the Prodigal Son to teach us to care about other people and to give them a second chance (Luke 10:25-37, 15:11-32).

As we walk in the Spirit, we will give away more and more of our self, and we will receive more of God in return (Luke 6:38). God is love, and the more love we share, the richer we enjoy God's presence in our life (1 John 4:8).

Prayer:

Father God, remind us that negative emotions within our soul come from the wounds in our past, placed there by the devil. They will prevent us from showing Your love and compassion to others (Ephesians 4:26-27). Help us to seek Your truth about every satanic lie, which births these destructive feelings within us ( www.theophostic.com ). Once we are free from this woundedness, we are also free to receive the fruit of Your Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).

Remind us that whether we are preoccupied with pain from the past or our current self-centered pursuits, obedience to You is the only way we can reap Your rich rewards. When we empathize with the pain and rejoice in the joy of others, and share Your kindness and mercy with our self and them, we will truly and eternally prosper (Romans 12:15; Luke 6:35-36).

Thought for the Day:

If we say we love God, yet hate someone else, then we are a liar and do not know God; yet, if we are truly in love with God, we will love His children too.

 - 1 John 4:20-21