Renewed Mind - Part 3 - Recovering from Wounds

My counselor listened to my brief account of my childhood and teen years and commented, "You grew up in a war zone. You are suffering from PTSD." WOW…who knew!

I thought my life was normal. I did not know other people had nurturing, cherishing homes. My parents also suffered abuse in their childhood and young adult lives.

My mother's own mother died when she was only three years old. She grew up in an alcoholic home, the only daughter with six brothers and a step-mom who had to work every day of her life.

My dad came back from the Korean War with PTSD and he took out his rage on my mom, three brothers and me. He was a mean man who did nice things now and then - a bipolar personality.

My parents did not seek healing for their wounds and passed them on to me and my three brothers by their attitude and behavior toward us, as well as by their example of coping with life.

They wounded us because of their woundedness. They taught me that I was stupid, clumsy, less than enough, had no real positive qualities and that I had to earn their love.

This deeply affected my self-esteem and how I related to other people. Satan planted these lies deep within my subconscious mind and I believed they were true.

Born with a melancholy personality, this treatment drove me further into myself by wounding my soul and corrupting my image of who I was.

I could not look at myself in the mirror. I disgusted myself. My shortcomings and failures taught me to further despise myself. I longed for unconditional love and acceptance of all of my idiosyncrasies.

At a young age, my mom became the responsible one in her childhood home, who buried her feelings and codependently served everyone else. I learned this behavior from her.

She recognized my need for self-esteem and did all in her power to give me opportunities to excel in life. Thankfully, her efforts prevented me from turning to addictions to mask my pain.

Yet, my poor self-image crippled me and hindered my success. Writing poetry saved me from committing suicide and gave me a release and even hope of a better life.

Then, at age 18, I met the Savior Jesus Christ. He started to sanctify my soul - my thoughts, choices and emotions (Philippians 4:8). He brought me to a prayer warrior who helped me to do spiritual battle and to reclaim my wounded soul for God ( www.theophostic.com ).

When I moved away from home, I received much more support from my parents. As I received healing from God in my adult life, God helped me to understand and to forgive my parents; and He used me to nurture and to partially heal my parents as well.

God spoke His truth to my soul and replaced Satan's lies and my negative self-image with His Truth. I learned to love God, love my self and love others with a pure heart.

( http://www.savedhealed.com/iamlist.htm ).

Prayer:

Father God, thank You for saving me when You did. I felt Your Holy Spirit pouring over me, and drenching every cell in my body and soul with Your love. You taught me to meet my own needs, rather than to neglect my needs or to expect others to meet them for me. I am content in Your love for me regardless of my circumstances.

You brought me to the realization that I am already dead in Christ and that He is now my whole life (Colossians 3:3-4; Galatians 2:20). The enticements of this world, sin and the devil no longer appeal to me. Thank You that Jesus balances my attitudes, opinions and goals in life.

Thought for the Day:

God taught me to find joy in my negative circumstances and to have faith in His faithfulness by changing my focus in life from carnal, earthly affairs to spiritual, eternal ones.

- Romans 8:28

Overcoming Life's Hurdles

Mental, emotional and physical pain and stress, loss and grief, and wounded individuals put us at risk for reaping negative results in life. In addition, unresolved childhood trauma increases the effects of our current distress. ( www.theophostic.com )

With repeated trauma, we can even develop various degrees of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and we view the world as a painful, alarming, treacherous place.

Separation through death, divorce, rejection, abandonment, etc. will affect our future relationships. We lose our sense of safety and security and may even live in continual fear and insecurity.

Our breathing is shallow, which affect our lungs, diaphragm and heart. Stomach, heart, lung and nerve issues cause us problems. Our mind can even affect us with physical symptoms, which have no physical source.

On guard in every situation, we are in a constant state of "fight or flight". This makes us combative and easily angered when we feel vulnerable and helpless.

A lack of trust causes us to build thick walls around our soul. Then we feel lonely, disheartened, hopeless and overwhelmed. We may even blame our self for what happens to us.

Attempting to prepare our self for the unexpected, we delve into worse case scenarios to prepare our self for any contingency; yet, we only provide our self with a false sense of power and protection from future trauma.

When events in our life are going well, we tend to rely less on God and more on our self. We have the idea that we deserve God's love and blessings, because we are so good.

However, with this attitude, we will never feel totally secure in life. We will live in constant anxiety, because we fear that if we fail in some area, we will lose His love and be lost for eternity.

The opposite is actually true. God loved us while we were still sinners, is our everlasting Savior and continues to love us unconditionally (Romans 5:8; 1 John 1:9). He is the same yesterday, today and for eternity (Hebrews 13:8).

Prayer:

Father God, thank You for allowing us to fail and to learn from our mistakes, to suffer trails for Your glory so that people can see our love for and trust in You regardless of our earthly status. Teach us to rely totally on You and not to pursue the world or the flesh.

Remind us to stop depending on our self and to begin to depend solely on You for every step we take (Proverbs 3:5-6). Help us to do only the works, which You ordained for us to achieve, rather than asking You to bless our works (Ephesians 2:10).

Thought for the Day:

When we rely on God's Holy Spirit for direction and strength, we listen to God's Spirit, step out in faith, and find all the resources we need to accomplish all that God ordained us to do.

- Philippians 2:12-13, 4:13; Matthew 7:7-8

Spiritual Healing - Part 2

God's Sweet, Living Water of Healing

Every individual has certain basic needs: Physical, Safety, Love, Belonging, Acceptance and Potential. If the fulfillment of any of these areas is thwarted, we will grow into adulthood with wounds from our childhood and early adult years. Satan plants a lie along with every disappointment we ever experience, and these lies influence our beliefs as adults. ( www.theophostic.com )

A lack of fulfillment in these areas of basic human needs can impact our ability to function normally as adults. In Part 1 of Spiritual Healing, I wrote about my anger and bitterness stemming from these needs not being met. In my case of experiencing abuse and deprivation, I grew up feeling fearful and insecure. This trauma caused a mental and emotional disorder due to the reoccurring stress (PTSD). 

Since I met the Lord Jesus Christ, however, I realized that the more intimate our union with Christ is, the more willing we are to totally surrender our life to God's will. This even allows us to look for the seeds of a miracle in every trial we experience. When we come to Christ, He gradually fulfills in us the unmet needs of our past and fills us with His sweet Living Water (John 4:14).

God also uses His process of sanctification to cleanse our thought life, because thoughts determine how we act. Our thoughts originate from three sources:

1. From our past, which is still alive in our subconscious mind

2. From our perception of life through our five senses

3. From satanic forces out to destroy us by distorting God's Truth     (1 Peter 5:8). (More in the next post.)

Prayer:

Father God, You warned us that Satan is our accuser (Revelations 12:10). Any negative thoughts sent to belittle and debilitate us come from him. If we surrender to Your will for each moment of our day, Your Spirit will lead us into all truth (John 16:13). Then, we will filter every situation in our life through Your lens of Truth (1 Corinthians 2:12-13). Remind us that if we are seated with You in heavenly places, we have no need to worry about our life on this earth.

Thought for the Day:

Nothing will occur in our life that is not already part of God's plan for us. - Ephesians 2:6,10