The Plague of Loneliness

Too often, a person is devastated by divorce, or tired of the single life, and they will cling to the first person who shows them kindness and love. These "saviors" are often wolves in sheep's clothing and prey on vulnerable divorcees in order to take advantage of their earthly resources, robbing them of their life's savings, car, home and worldly goods.

This disheartens the single person and leaves the divorcee devastated, wounded and disillusioned all over again. Pay attention to every red flag that pops up during your interaction with any new person in your life. How do they respond in a crisis? What is their emotional personality – do they react in anger or do they stuff their emotions?

Are you really compatible with this person, or are you just lonely and not wanting to live alone? It is far better to live alone than to shackle yourself to someone out of the will of God (Proverbs 21:9, 25:24; Proverbs 17:1). Be involved with this new person. Spend time around his/her family and friends. Do they act the same way around them that they do around you?

Are their words, actions and personality, which they are projecting to you, the same around people who know them well? What expressions do you see in their face and body language? What hint of exasperation, meanness or controlling is in their voice inflections and words? If you feel any caution in your soul or spirit about this person, keep the relationship casual.

Wait on the Lord’s direction. He may move you on to someone new. Spend time alone with God and allow Him to be your best friend and the Lover of your soul (Isaiah 54:5; Proverbs 18:24). Develop a friendship and genuine caring relationship with any potential mate, or your new marriage may not weather life’s storms, and it could end in divorce.

Prayer:

Father God, loneliness often drives both single people and divorcees into an unwise marriage. They are as unhappy in this marriage as they were as a single person or in their first marriage. Remind us that loneliness is a choice, not a state of being. We can join group activities to cultivate joy in our life. Help us to send our roots down deeper in our relationship with You instead of looking for love in all the wrong places. We need to wait on You, because You have a perfect plan for our life (Ephesians 2:10).

Thought for the Day:

We can find fulfillment through service to God, His church and our community instead of rebounding or settling, and expecting the illusion of a perfect marriage to eradicate our feelings of loneliness and a lack of contentment.

In The Center of God's Will

To be in the center of God's will is the happiest place on earth. This may include a single life, illness, persecution, a missionary position far from home, physical handicaps, an unhappy marriage, the death of a loved one, a challenging child, or any number of other negative circumstances, which occur in life. Yet, God's love is with us and in us through each moment of every day.

God has good plans for us, even through the negative atmosphere or issues we experience in our life (Jeremiah 29:11). He always works out even the most horrendous concerns for our good (Romans 8:28). The good news is that unless we fail to walk in God's will for our life, nothing will occur, which is not already part of His plan for us (1 Thessalonians 5:16-19).

God encourages us to submit to His sanctifying work in our life (1 Thessalonians 4:3). This is how He endows us with what we need to perform His will as part of His family (Hebrews 13:21; Mark 3:34-35). He forms us into the image of Christ and gives us His Word to light up our path throughout our lifetime. He even gives His angels charge over us, so that we do not stumble or fall (Psalm 119:105; Psalm 91:11).

If we struggle to hear God's Holy Spirit, or to find His exact will in any situation, we can pause, give Him our focused attention and listen. If we ask, He promises to generously give us wisdom in every area of our life (James 1:5). By walking in God's Spirit we will silence Satan's lies and the foolish talk of ignorant people who disparage God and His people (Galatians 5:15-25; 1 Peter 2:15).

Prayer:

Father God, we put our entire trust in You with our whole heart. We refuse to listen to the vain imaginations of our mind or to rely on our human understanding in making decisions. We seek Your will for each moment of our day and we will stop, be still and wait on You for your direction for each activity, which You prompt us to do (Psalm 27:14; Psalm 46:10). We know that by seeking Your will instead of our own, we will walk on the right path throughout our life and we will please You with all of our thoughts, words and deeds (Psalm 27:11). 

Thought for the Day:

As the Holy Spirit transforms us by renewing our mind, we will be living proof of the good, acceptable and perfect will of God.

- Romans 12:2

Alone in a Crowd ~ Part Two

If you have not already read the previous post, Part One, please do!…kat

Read: Romans 8:35-39

“May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. “ Ephesians 3:19

One of the biggest hindrances to enjoying satisfying human relationships comes from the busyness of our schedules. We fill our time with every conceivable activity or we vegetate in front of any number of differing digital screens. In the process, we limit our availability for human contact. This thought leads me to another hindrance to intimacy, which is our dread of being hurt.

We fear that letting our guard down and being real with someone, opens up our heart for rejection. Or people may possibly use the information we share with them against us, or belittle the significance of our feelings, or preach to us about how to solve our problems. In reality, all we really need is for someone to actively listen to us and to affirm our feelings, but this will never happen if we do not step out and make a friend.

God has a plan for each of our lives. He promised that when we, as a branch, allow Him to graft us into Jesus Christ, as our Vine, we connect to a life-giving source of the power of His Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit gives us gifts for use in ministry (1 Corinthians 12:7-11). He also weaves His fruit into the fabric of our lives (1 Corinthians 12:4-14). Therefore, we, in turn, have a plentiful resource of these qualities to share with others who come to us for help in their time of need. These people reciprocate these blessings to us as well.

Finding a small group in a church that has warm and caring members is another resource for us to build friendships. Working in a service industry to provide for the needs of other individuals often secures for us a sanctuary of intimacy in return. No matter who we are, where we live or what denomination we attend, we can reach out to people in our church, neighborhood or workplace.

Something as simple as an invitation to see a movie, to grab a bite to eat, or to enjoy a stroll around the neighborhood park several evenings per week will bring a smile to a face and allow joy to seep into a broken heart. These non-threatening activities are the foundation on which intimate relationships are built, because we learn to trust each other a little at a time.

If you are alone, a good starting place is to pray about whether marriage is God’s will for you. He may prefer that you remain single and serve Him more freely, since you are not restricted by the responsibilities placed on someone with a spouse and children. A life of aloneness can give you the opportunity to experience al-one-ness with God. Unity with our creator is infinitely more fulfilling than any human relationship could ever provide, because His love is supernatural and it comes from within us.

But, if God calls you to marriage, then your husband, your resulting family, along with the church in which God calls you to serve, provide quality resources to supply all of your needs for intimacy, as well as to present you with a mission field in which to serve Him. If you also start from a place of al-one-ness with God, your union with our creator will lead and guide you each moment of the day.

Prayer:

Lord Jesus, when we are led by Your Spirit moment-by-moment throughout the day, we do not worry about anything; instead, we pray about everything. We tell You what we need, and we thank You for all that You do for us. Then Your peace, which exceeds anything we can understand, fills us and guards our hearts and minds as we live in You. - Philippians 4:6-7

Thought for the Day:

We love God, even though we have never seen him. We trust Him and rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. - 1 Peter 1:8

Filling the Void

Read: Read Galatians 2:20-21

“They are empty, void, destroyed, deserted and demolished. Their hearts melt with fear, their knees knock together in exhaustion, their bodies and faces have grown pale with anxiety.” – Nahum 2:10 (various translations)

A young woman shared her heart with me during a mentoring session by saying, “I have a void inside of me. I want my husband to fill that void, but he is just too selfish and self-centered.” She felt lonely and unfulfilled.

Single people often relate to me that they long for a deep connection with another human being. Yet, as we see by this woman's confession, even married couples feel lonely. Sometimes their spouse is actually sitting in the very same room with them, but they are not connecting, not filling one another with love and contentment. As wonderful as a mate can be, however, even as nurturing and attentive and caring as they might act, sometimes he/she just cannot fill the blank hole in our heart. 

Only Christ within us fills this empty void in our life. He is the only One who can love us from the inside out! No earthly relationship can ever come from within us (John 14:17). Christ within us is our hope of glory (Colossians 1: 27). Only our relationship with the Lord of love, living and dwelling inside of us, can bring us this level of intimacy and fulfillment, which we human beings so deeply desire. From within our spirit His comfort brings delight to our thoughts and emotions  (Psalm 94:19). Christ’s presence in us also affects our physical health, as well as our soul and spirit (Romans 8:11).

The still, small sanctuary within our spirit is the only place where we can find true empathy and solace from the God who loves us more than life itself. When we enter this "inner closet," we strip away all confusion and clutter from our soul. We empty ourselves of our selfish desires and ambitions and chaotic thoughts (Galatians 5:24). Then, we focus solely on the voice of our Beloved. We bask in the rays of His joy and peace, as we seek His direction for each moment of our day.

Then, when we continue in the life to which God called us, we have renewed power to meet the needs within our own life, as well as in the lives of those He sends our way. We can forgive, nurture, empathize, and minister to ourselves and others by the strength of God and the direction of His Holy Spirit. This is fulfilling indeed!

If we pray as He prayed in the Garden prior to His crucifixion, “Lord, not my will, but Thy will be done”, that prayer will never fail. As we seek His kingdom, He always gives us what we need spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically.

If you are married and disillusioned or disappointed with your mate, this same prayer will change your relationship, because it will change your attitude and then your heart. If you are single and looking for a mate, then seeking first the will of God for your life is the only way to bring you to the place where you can meet the man/woman He has chosen for you. My husband and I met at Books-a-Million bookstore. God led us both there on the same night at the same time. What are the odds of that happening? With God, all things are possible.

I have heard it said that each partner in a relationship must be whole in Christ before they come together. Having a saving relationship with God is the first and foremost relationship we should cultivate in our own life. Then, only as we seek God’s will together, will we ever find the type of fulfillment we crave, both in our relationship with God and then with one another.  

Prayer:

Lord Jesus, Your presence in us is our only hope of glory both in this world and the next. As we focus on this concept, You bring us the fulfillment and purpose we crave in this life. You avert our attention from ourselves and our perceived lack in body and soul to the nurturing fulfillment, which You provide in our lives. You give us "rest for our souls"; and in You we lack no good thing.

Thought for the Day:

Jesus satisfies our longing and He fills our hungry soul.