A Good Marriage - Common Ground

Winning is not the ultimate prize of life; it is the manner in which we finish the race that counts the most. It is often the last straggler across the finish line that receives the most attention, because they persevered to the very end.

Winning an argument is not necessary to feel validated either. We can concede that we are wrong, if indeed we are, without any shame or recrimination.

We have a viewpoint that differs from our employer's, friend's, neighbor's, child's, parent's or spouse's perspective; but no less right or wrong than theirs.

There is nothing heroic about destroying a marriage, because we soon realize that we were acting as pawns on Satan's game board, playing right into his hands and wreaking havoc for generations to come.

If both parties in a disagreement are willing to bear with one another and to lay our life down for each other, there is always a way to peacefully resolve all issues and to avoid fighting and drama.

Neither of us is the enemy, we are simply fellow sojourners in this life with equal rights and privileges in the family of God. Quickly apologizing from the heart for any hurt we cause during a disagreement goes a long way in keeping unity in our relations.

Repairing our relationships is so much more mature than rending them in half and going our separate ways - leaving a trail of broken hearts and lives behind us. A trained counselor can help us to negotiate our differences.

Seeking wisdom from God's Word and His Spirit during times of prayer can also help us to breach any gaps in our unity. We negotiate until we find common ground on which to stand.

Prayer:

Father God, You remind us not to separate what You bind together. You admonish us not to break any vow that we make, but to honor our commitment to one another with charity, patience and kindness. You want us to work together to find an equitable solution to any conflicts in our marriage, as well as in our affiliations at work and in Your Body.

Give us Your wisdom to maintain peace and to show Your agape love to those who wound us; to turn the other cheeks and to bear with one another's idiosyncrasies and foibles. Give us patience to love one another as Christ loves the church; so we can represent living sacrifices as a testimony to an unbelieving world.

Thought for the Day:

There is nothing heroic in winning at the cost of someone else's expense; but in laying down our life and serving one another with the love of our Father toward us.

The Plague of Loneliness

Too often, a person is devastated by divorce, or tired of the single life, and they will cling to the first person who shows them kindness and love. These "saviors" are often wolves in sheep's clothing and prey on vulnerable divorcees in order to take advantage of their earthly resources, robbing them of their life's savings, car, home and worldly goods.

This disheartens the single person and leaves the divorcee devastated, wounded and disillusioned all over again. Pay attention to every red flag that pops up during your interaction with any new person in your life. How do they respond in a crisis? What is their emotional personality – do they react in anger or do they stuff their emotions?

Are you really compatible with this person, or are you just lonely and not wanting to live alone? It is far better to live alone than to shackle yourself to someone out of the will of God (Proverbs 21:9, 25:24; Proverbs 17:1). Be involved with this new person. Spend time around his/her family and friends. Do they act the same way around them that they do around you?

Are their words, actions and personality, which they are projecting to you, the same around people who know them well? What expressions do you see in their face and body language? What hint of exasperation, meanness or controlling is in their voice inflections and words? If you feel any caution in your soul or spirit about this person, keep the relationship casual.

Wait on the Lord’s direction. He may move you on to someone new. Spend time alone with God and allow Him to be your best friend and the Lover of your soul (Isaiah 54:5; Proverbs 18:24). Develop a friendship and genuine caring relationship with any potential mate, or your new marriage may not weather life’s storms, and it could end in divorce.

Prayer:

Father God, loneliness often drives both single people and divorcees into an unwise marriage. They are as unhappy in this marriage as they were as a single person or in their first marriage. Remind us that loneliness is a choice, not a state of being. We can join group activities to cultivate joy in our life. Help us to send our roots down deeper in our relationship with You instead of looking for love in all the wrong places. We need to wait on You, because You have a perfect plan for our life (Ephesians 2:10).

Thought for the Day:

We can find fulfillment through service to God, His church and our community instead of rebounding or settling, and expecting the illusion of a perfect marriage to eradicate our feelings of loneliness and a lack of contentment.