Too often, a
divorcee will run from one bad marriage to another. They do not allow
themselves time to recover mentally, emotionally, physically, financially and
spiritually from the initial abandonment before jumping into another wedding.
This causes them to haul the heavy baggage of their unresolved conflicts into
their next marriage.
The mental
health experts all advise us to date many people for six months or more. This
gives us an extensive idea of what type of person we can enjoy, get along with
and live with on a daily basis. Some people worry about being alone for the
rest of their life, and they marry the first person who is kind to them or who
has the physical attributes that attract them.
This may cause
us to marry the same type of person that just divorced us. Many divorcees
ignore the red flags, which pop up with a person. The anger in their voice, the
controlling attitude, the slight irritation or disappointment, the selfish
decision, the broken promise, etc. are all red flags to alert us to the
person's real personality. They may mask their true identity for a while, but
once they know they won our affections, they gradually let their guard down.
So, when we find
someone who really interests us, we should casually date them as a potential
mate for three months first; and then at least three more months of seeing the
person every day with their family, friends and workmates. This gives us a
better view of how they really act, because they cannot pretend in front of
people who already know them.
Prayer:
Father God, the
devastation of divorce causes us to doubt our self, fear the future and believe
that we will be lonely and unhappy for the rest of our life. Teach us that You
are our mate and that You will provide for all of our needs, even the intimacy,
which we crave (Isaiah 54:5;
John 17:21). You stick
closer to us than a brother (Proverbs
18:24). You care about
all of our needs; so remind us to cast our cares on You, rather than to seek a
mate too quickly and to marry out of Your will for us (1 Peter 5:7).
Thought for the
Day:
Many people
spend half of their life looking for love, but when they put their trust in
God, He brings their true love along in His timing and way.
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