Relationships
shift as the years progress. Each individual person changes in mood, goals,
preferences, desires, etc. When we change in incompatible ways, friction rises
up in our connection.
Unless
we discuss the changes, and how to work together in them, our bond weakens. Realizing
that we are not in opposition or a competition, encourages us to help and
cooperate with one another.
We
start by making a list of the top few changes that we want to make in our life
and in our relationship. Then we discuss how these changes will affect one
another.
We
choose to do things together that we may not particularly care to do. We can start
a new hobby together, take classes and learn more about technology, writing, cooking,
dancing, a new language, etc.
Our
focus in this endeavor is to concentrate more on the time we are spending
together, rather than in the event itself. We share in one another's
preferences and viewpoints, even if we do not agree with each other.
This
will strengthen our bond with each other. Any differences that cannot be worked
out can be accepted by agreeing to disagree. In this way, we give each other
room for God to redirect both of us about our opinion concerning the issues.
Nursing
current or past offenses and holding a grudge escalates the barrier between us.
It is better to honestly, and humbly relate our true feelings to each other and
to forgive one another.
We
apologize, and decide how to adjust our behavior in order to resolve our issues,
rather than stuffing them into our subconscious mind or allowing them to fester
in our soul - our thoughts and emotions.
The
way to foster a loving partnership is to prefer our mate and to adjust flexibly
to meet each other's needs. The best strategy is to willing alter our thinking
or behavior a bit, in order to get along better with one another.
Prayer:
Father
God, You created people so that opposites attract. You supplied us with this
penchant so that we can strengthen each other's weaknesses. As we broaden our
experiences in life, we either learn to relax and breathe, or to take life more
seriously.
Remind
us that investing time in our current relationship is more productive and
beneficial for us and our whole family than looking for a new mate. Help us to
come up with a third alternative - a plan "C" - that makes us both
happy and fulfilled. If all else fails, teach us to embrace and appreciate one
another's differences, to accept help with our weaknesses, and to love one
another in spite of our idiosyncrasies.
Thought
for the Day:
Focusing
on blaming the other person and winning every disagreement are not beneficial
goals in building a more intimate bond in our marriage; we construct positive
emotions by focusing on agreeing to disagree, or finding a third solution
acceptable to both of us, and accepting one another exactly as we are now.
