A Good Marriage - Ending the Charades

Living behind masks is a common practice in today's society. We emulate successful people and, in the process, abandon our true self - sticking him/her in a closet in the deep recesses of our soul.

The mistake is that we do not realize that eventually we will tire of the facadei and our true self will express our real thoughts and feelings and then make vital choices that effect everything about us.

Initially, we are drawn to our mate by what we perceive as true. When our mate's facade begins to crack, we are disillusioned and maybe even dismayed by what we find inside.

A closet drinker, drug addict, over-eater, underachiever, work-a-holic, control freak, couch potato, criticizer, bully, etc. may come creeping out, and we realize we were fooled. This is when the fighting begins in the marriage.

If we have a prophetic nature, we may tend to point out the basic base nature of our spouse. This may cause him/her to feel criticized; so that they will point out to us all of our faults and imperfections. Hurt feelings, anger and arguments ensue.

Actually, realizing what we need to work on is a good thing and we can hold each other accountable. Mutually discovering short-comings will stop the charade in our marriage and enable us to relax more and find more comfort in our relationship.

Counseling will help us to adjust to and accept these negative character traits in our self and in our mate as we attempt to surrender our life to God's sanctifying work.

If our partner attends counseling too, this may help to free him/her from their negative weaknesses as well. This unbiased, professional input will help both of us to improve our idiosyncrasies, develop more character in each of us and help us to live with God's Agape love toward each other.

We will grow more intimate in our relationship and have more light to shine into the dark world around us in order to bring others to Christ. Passion will rise and the routine of life will have more variety and pizzazz.

Prayer:

Father God, the fruit of Your Spirit will grow within each of us and meld us into one flesh in Christ, who abides within us. Remind us that as we embrace Christ in us, Your Spirit transforms us with the mind of Christ into His divine nature (2 Peter 1:4).

Show us that an uncovered relationship allows us and our partner to feel more loved by each other, to receive more affirmation for who we really are, to diminish the pressure of hiding behind masks, and to set us free to be human.

Thought for the Day:

As we live in the moment, we fear less and love more; experiencing through Christ in us a deeper, fulfilled life that does not need to hide behind masks in order to be accepted. 

Emotional and Mental Health: Be a Kid Again

 

When was the last time you acted like a kid, did something just for the fun of it, or did more on your day off than catch up on chores? We all have our favorite things from childhood.

That favorite toy, or the one you always wanted, but never received is a clue to what made you happy as a child. Consider purchasing that toy now; just google it and see what you can find. Put it on a shelf as a knickknack, or if possible play with it.

Blowing bubbles, casting a yo-yo, jumping on a trampoline, swinging at the park, playing board games, catching the wind with a pin wheel (windmill), making crafts with grandchildren or the children in your church Body, racing cars on a track, finger painting, flying a remote plane or drone, etc. are all very therapeutic.

Gazing at that favorite Tonka truck sitting on the bookshelf in your den will feed your soul. Dolls come in all sizes and shapes; buy one that catches your interest and get a few sets of clothes to redress her now and then as she sits pretty on your bedroom shelf.

Some men go mudding in their truck; ever wonder why? It is therapeutic to their soul. Women love to dress up and wear extensive make-up, high heeled shoes and sparkling jewelry, because it brings out the princess in them.

Give yourself time to play with friends - laugh, love, relax and unwind. Take time to ride the attractions at theme parks or to see the shows. Attend a concert or view a production by your local thespians.

Go skiing, surfing, fishing, hiking, biking, boating, fly a kite, etc. Play in the rain or run through the sprinkler; model at your local clothing store; take a music, cooking, baking or woodworking class, etc.

Volunteer at the local animal shelter or rescue; and give those frightened, lonely animals some attention. Serve food at a local soup kitchen or visit a homeless shelter or nursing home and show care to the people there.

Purchase an adult coloring book and felt markers to take time to color. Play a video game. Construct a cardboard puzzle, or buy a book of word puzzles and use it to wind down before bed. Giving the kid in us a chance to play improves our physical, mental and emotional health.

Prayer:

Father God, we are Your children, co-heirs with Christ of Your Kingdom, and You delight over us with singing (Zephaniah 3:17). You spoil us by providing all of our needs in abundance and keeping us safely tucked under the shadow of Your wings. As Christians, we tend to be stuffy, overly serious and we spurn good, clean fun.

Help us to connect with the child in us that You created, and who even now still dwells in us (Matthew 18:3). As we age, we often lower our defenses and allow the child-like part of our personality more freedom of expression; but please teach us to embrace the humility, creativity and innocence of that part of our self regardless of our age.

Thought for the Day:

Allowing our Inner Child out of whatever box, hole or closet we hid them in, so they would not embarrass us, is a very healthy step to take; we put away childish things and don the responsibility of an adult (1 Corinthians 13:11), but we should not attempt to murder or imprison that creative, fun-loving aspect of our personality (Psalm 131:2).

Depending Only on God

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Sometimes, we feel invisible, as if God does not see us or hear our prayers (Isaiah 40:27). We think that He has forgotten us, because our circumstances are out of control and we need His intervention. Yet, He still tarries. Life is not limited to our time on this earth. We do not need to "get ahead" during this lifetime. God honors those who honor Him and despises those who dishonor Him (1 Samuel 2:30).

Our tendency in a trial is to work it out in our own efforts. However, we usually end up making things worse. We are broken, even if we will not admit it, and God calls us to lean on Him (2 Kings 18:21; Isaiah 36:6). God looks for those who are living by faith in Him. Even the atheists live by faith in something. However, our trust in God is the only faith, which produces eternal results.

If we put our trust in our self, or in other people, we are depending on the flesh rather than on the Lord. We end up worn out, devastated, poor and lonely. However, if we trust in the Lord, He blesses us wondrously (Habakkuk 2:4; Proverbs 29:25). We are rooted and secure. We flourish and are prepared for life's trials. We have no worries, so we thrive and bear God's fruit in our life (Jeremiah 17:5-8; Galatians 5:22-23).

We can relax and live in God's peace, entering His rest, even in the worst of circumstances. He always works out everything for our ultimate good (Romans 8:28). Trials are opportunities for God to prove His love for us. If we view them through His eyes, we will see His mighty hand in the midst of them (Psalm 136:12; 1 Peter 5:6).

Prayer:
Father God, teach us not to rely on our human strength or the wisdom of friends, but to follow Your Spirit's leading in every area of our life (Zechariah 4:6). When our activities are inspired by Your Spirit, we see Kingdom results. We depend solely on You for our life and our future. Bring our flesh into submission to Your will.

Thought for the Day:
When we depend on God alone, we put our faith in His faithfulness; since He is our trustworthy defender, we shall never suffer ultimate defeat. - Psalm 62:5-8

Abiding Peace

Read: Hebrews 4: 1-11

“A relaxed attitude lengthens life.” - Proverbs 14:30a (TLB)

As a young adult, my daily focus centered on the events of my day. I worried about what others thought of me and about how well I performed. Anxiety and anger broiled within me, and I often over-reacted to perceived slights and a lack of recognition. I breathed with shallow breaths and had a very intense personality.

Over the years, I learned to relax, to breathe deeply, to notice God's blessings throughout the day and to look to Him for my affirmation. I walk in peace now, by focusing on the way God meets all of my needs. He not only saved me from eternal damnation, He also puts joy in my heart regardless of life’s circumstances, keeps me from falling into temptation, gives me air to breathe, nature to enjoy and my daily bread.

I feel so much joy and abiding peace now, found only from focusing on God (Isaiah 26:3). As I serve my family and work in my church and community, God provides for me and dwells in me, keeping me serene and sheltered under the shadow of His wings (Psalm 91:4). Peace comes only when we abide in Christ.

Prayer:

Lord, help me to hold fast to Your promises and to maintain a positive attitude throughout my day. I want to be glad and rejoice in You forevermore. Amen.

Thought for the Day:

Relax in the Spirit and enjoy the crisis. – James 1:2






Thank you, Jessica Greek, for the use of your photo.