So
often we put on a mask, a persona, and give a false impression to the rest of
the world. We may do this on purpose, or without any conscious thought. We put
up boundaries, and hide behind busyness in order to project an image that we
have it "all together."
Yet,
inside we are torn apart by a wounded soul full of negative thoughts,
attitudes, and lies from the devil. Fear, anxiety, insecurity, resentment,
self-doubt, etc. plague each step that we take. At times, we cannot relax,
because we are holding our breath without realizing it.
God
always sends the right people at the right time to speak His truth into our
life. My former husband had a lightbulb go off in his head one day, and he said,
"I understand now. You act and appear on the outside to be confident and
assured, but inside you are a very fearful and insecure person."
Truth
in its first form may feel false, so I had to think about that for a while. As
the truth of his words sunk into my soul, however, a calm peace settled over
me. Finally, someone unlocked the door of my soul and let me out.
I
was so relieved that he finally understood my deepest need, and I hoped that he
would help me to find my way out of the dark forest that I had lived in my
whole life up to this point. Unfortunately, this never happened.
It
merely caused him to feel more disdain for me, and it erected another wall
between us until he finally saw no option for us but divorce. God did not give
up on me, though. He sent our worship leader who taught me through God's Word
that Christ lives within us.
Then
He provided me with a new husband who recognized from the first day we met that
fear and insecurity plagued my life. He reacted to me with devoted
understanding. His unconditional love and devoted attention helped me to change
the way I reacted to the world.
I
gradually realized that I could truly trust God with my vulnerability, rather
than to attempt to control my life to keep myself safe. Dread and uncertainty
diminished as I hid under the shadow of His wing (Psalm 91:4). I learned to
trust Him with my whole heart (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Thankfully,
my new husband also encouraged me to go to a prayer counselor who helped me to
access the lies from the devil that were the root of my fears and insecurities,
and to discover God's personal truth for me about them, which set me on a path
of serenity and fullness (Ephesians 3:16-19).
Prayer:
Father
God, thank You for your divine appointments, and for making all things
beautiful in Your way and time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Your Spirit inspires our
choices, behavior, and conversations; and You fill our days with Your mercy,
love, peace, joy and grace. We find it easy to be vulnerable with You about our
thoughts and feelings, because Your goodness humbles us and melts our heart.
You
never give up on us, and You set us free with Your truth (John 8:36). We know
that You have ultimate control of our life, and that we have no need to fear,
because You are with us and in us (Colossians 1:27; Philippians 4:6). Your
unconditional love fills the cracks in our life caused by both life's
circumstances as well as the people who maintain influence over us. We give You
all of the praise and worship due to Your name.
Thought
for the Day:
When
we relinquish our plans for our life, God's Spirit is able to direct our steps,
and we find our self ministering to our self and others, and receiving ministry
from others that is life-changing and eternal; God cares about every aspect of
our body, soul and spirit.
-
1 Thessalonians 5:23
