I never had a nurturing mother. In fact, she never had a nurturing mother either. Her natural mother died when my mommy was around three years old. She had brothers, but no sisters, and a stepmom who worked in a sewing factory all week, and who had two more sons of her own.
My mom gave me three little brothers, so I had no sisters either. Of course, the child’s gender is determined by the father’s genes, so we can blame it on them! My mommy learned to be a mom from her stepmom, but circumstances in her childhood hindered much of her emotional growth.
For instance, my Grandma was emotionally distant from her children. Most of the housekeeping fell on my mommy’s shoulders, since she was the only girl - homemaking was the “woman’s” job back then. She had little time to play as a child.
My mommy grew up in an atmosphere with little affection from her stepmom, and an alcoholic father. Most of her material needs were provided for, but not her emotional ones. Therefore, she never learned to show nurture to her children.
My three little brothers and I knew that she loved us by her generosity and “acts of service,” but we only experienced a distant, unemotional relationship with our mom. I grew up and married an unaffectionate man, who by his own admission, only married me because he knew I would say, “Yes”.
I married him with the starry-eyed belief that once we were married, he would really “fall in love” with me, but that never happened. He always provided for me and our children - and his work ethic, humor, and intelligence kept us happy.
However, I despaired of ever being “loved” this side of Heaven, since to me, marriage is forever. Our marital issues were partly caused by my past, which erected barriers between us, including me adopting my father’s “rage-aholic” tendencies.
My husband and I both suffered from occasional emotional abuse and neglect from one another that wounded our sensitive natures and drove a wedge between us. Even a marriage dedicated to serving our Lord and Savior did not heal our childhood issues or our marital discord, which deepened over the years.
He finally saw no option for us, but divorce; and I had no words or way to control his decision or to improve our marriage. God continued to bless both of us in spite of our divergent paths, and He led me to my nurturing and compassionate current husband.
God provided our new marriage with a prayer counselor that taught us how to touch the throne of God for the answers for our issues, as well as for healing for ourselves, and to help others. This healing changed much of my negative behavior and many of my ill-conceived negative beliefs, which had been fueled by my past.
- https://www.transformationprayer.org/preparing-journey-introduction/
My husband and I recovered from the wounds of our earlier life, which helped us to cherish one another, to have compassion for each other, to fully commit to our marriage, not to neglect doing the little things for each other that mean so much, and to be grateful to and for each other.
Prayer:
Father God, You often allow circumstances in our childhood that propel us toward a greater dependency on You for the love and nurture that this world does not provide. Once we repent of our sinful desires and trust in You with our whole heart, You shower us with Your love, blessings, peace and joy regardless of the circumstances that we experience.
You teach us to consult You during each moment of our day, and to find joy and fulfillment in Your presence within us. You are never far from us, because You never leave or abandon us (Hebrews 13:5). You do not even sleep, but You keep an ever-present watch over our life. We want every breath that we take to give praise to You all the days of our life (Psalm 150:6).
Thought for the Day:
Abuse in any form will affect our thoughts, emotions and choices for our whole life, because even if we bury the memories deep within our subconscious mind, they will haunt us until we receive healing from the Lord; God cares about every aspect of our life and will bring our soul to ultimate healing if we trust Him with our whole heart.
- Psalm 23:3; Proverbs 3:5-6
