There are several cues that we can offer, as we listen to someone who is talking to us, that will communicate to them that we are paying attention to them. For instance, we can nod our head, smile, look into their eyes, show emotion in our face - such as surprise, concern, empathy, etc. or we can mirror the emotion that they are confessing to us.
If the person is repeating words or bringing up the same perspective of the same problems, they may feel that we are not listening, or that we do not understand what they are attempting to convey to us. We can interject a short “I see,” or “I hear what you’re saying” to let them know that we hear and understand them.
If we are previously scheduled to be someplace else, or if we are experiencing some distraction in our own attention, or if we do not have time to fully listen, we can make an appointment to meet with that person at a mutually agreeable future place and time.
They may feel frustrated or overwhelmed, but this will give them time to work out their own issue, or to find someone else that can give them undivided attention, unless they would prefer to wait and to share their issue only with us.
This will be better than if we attempt to half-heartedly focus on their need or leave in the middle of their attempt to share with us. Interrupting the person talking in order to switch our attention to someone else who needs our attention is very offensive to the speaker.
We can touch the person’s arm to continue contact with them, while we take a second to tell the new person that we will be with them in a few minutes. Then we turn right back to listening to the original person. This will let them know that we value their feelings and that we really care about their issues.
We may take the interrupting person by surprise, but they will appreciate knowing that we will give them the same undivided attention later. If we turn to fully face the person speaking to us, we will communicate to others that we are fully engrossed in our current conversation.
Prayer:
Father God, help us to remember that our focused attention is vitally important to the burdened soul who came to us for comfort. Remind us that we can also take the person aside to sit in an unoccupied area of the room to let others know we are dedicated to listening to that one person. Help us to learn that a listening ear will help to diffuse the intensity of the troubled person’s emotions and to relieve the immediacy of their issues.
Teach us too that we never need to offer answers or give advice to the one sharing their concerns with us. Showing that we care helps them to figure out their own solutions, since they are the one embroiled in the problem at that moment. We want to lift You up so that their focus is on You, instead of on us. We can end any listening session by praying with the person once they finish sharing their burdens with us.
Thought for the Day:
Partial attention is insulting to the speaker and prevents us from fully understanding the speaker’s needs, while full attention communicates that we are sympathetic to their concerns and that we want to share in their experience and to help them to carry their burdens.
- Galatians 6:2
