From Frightened to Freedom

As a young wife and mother of three, my life was hectic at best. On top of this, I viewed life and reacted to its challenges and issues from a codependent and perfectionistic attitude - double trouble.

I wanted to please everyone, so they would like and love me; I thought that the only way to accomplish this feat was to be perfect. I was under the delusion that if I loved and served everyone - even to the detriment of myself - they would love me in return.

However, all I did was to teach people to take me for granted and to treat me like a doormat and their unpaid servant - chief cook, bottle washer, baby sitter, housekeeper and problem solver. People took advantage of me, which stressed me out even further.

I even did this with God. I attempted to keep every "jot and tittle of the law" (Matthew 5:18), hoping to please God with my undying service, in order to earn His love. I turned into a foolish "Galatian" and ran myself ragged, meeting myself coming and going (Galatians 3:1-3).

Stress kept me from sleeping and sleeplessness made me grouchy, which caused me to be short-tempered with those I loved. I hated who I was…I hated me, but I had no idea how to change things.

My self-esteem was in the bottom of the tank and I felt like I was drowning in the details of life. Finally, in desperation, I started researching codependence: what caused it and how to get free from it.

I learned that I had to stop neglecting my own needs every day and to allow others to meet their own needs once in a while. The books promised that they would still love me anyway, even if I did not "earn" it.

I figured that even if they did not love me, then they had no true feelings for me in the first place. I also translated this into the spiritual realm. God already loved me when I was a lost sinner, and He would always love me unconditionally (Romans 5:8); therefore, I could enter His rest and enjoy His favor.

This fact stopped the codependence dead in its tracks. I did a 180 degree turn around and walked away from this driven lifestyle. God's Spirit broke the shackles of expectations that I allowed to chain me to a meager existence.

When I entered into God's rest, I found a security and warmth that I missed all my life. Over the ensuing years, the comfort of God's rest brought me more peace and joy than I ever dreamed possible; and He continually supplies all of my needs with His glorious riches.

Prayer:

Father God, thank You so much for Your grace and mercy, which lead us in Your everlasting way (John 10:28-30; 1 Peter 5:10). You teach us lessons all along life's path and You bring us into ever-increasing intimacy with Your presence within us. When we let go of the impossible demands of pleasing people and focus instead on walking by the direction of Your Spirit moment by moment, we enter into Your rest, we receive Your gift of mercy and love, and we learn to trust in Your wisdom.

Due to Christ's saving redemption on Calvary's cross, we are no longer slaves of the demon of perfectionism. Instead, we follow the leading of Your Spirit and rest in Your goodness and grace. We trust in You with our whole heart; acknowledge You in all of our thoughts, words and deeds; and glorify You as You direct our paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Thought for the Day:

God invites us to bask in His love; abide in His peace and hide under His wings when life scares us (Psalm 91:4); we learn to accept love when it is given and to serve others only when God's Spirit leads us to do so; this prevents burn-out and promotes joy in living regardless of our circumstances.

Living in Praise

Did you ever notice that Paul was the eternal optimist? The man worked hard, almost died several times, was stoned, shipwrecked and in the sea a day and night, constantly in danger, sleepless, hungry and thirsty, and exposed to both hot and cold elements (2 Corinthians 11:22-28).

Yet, he told us to rejoice always; to pray without ceasing; not to quench the Spirit; and to give thanks in everything: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you (1 Thessalonians 5:16-19).

Does this mean to give thanks, because everything that happens to us is God's will for us; or that giving thanks is God's will for us? Either way, it is worth paying attention to this verse.

If giving thanks is God's will, then when we praise the Lord, we are in God's will; and when we do not praise the Lord, we are out of God's will for us.

If Paul is saying that we should give thanks in good times and in adversity, because all of these circumstances are the will God for us, then when we do not praise Him, we are missing out on part of the miracle, which God has for us through this trial.

Recently, our air-conditioning was out for two days during the hottest November on record in southwest Florida. I was dripping sweat, irritable and claustrophobic - because the heat imprisoned me and I could not escape it.

This caused me to remember my childhood and first pregnancy; when we had no air-conditioning at all, because of our lack of income. My mom used a wet wash cloth on her neck, so I did too. It helped this time too.

As I prayed during this inconvenience, God brought Paul's exhortation to my mind. I realized that I was not to grumble or to allow my flesh to get the better of me; and I was to walk in the Spirit and praise God, even in the suffocating heat.

Easier said than done; but I have been learning to live through my spirit and not my flesh and this was just another opportunity to practice. I truly was thankful that the circumstances were not even more dreadful.

Prayer:

Father God, I really wanted Your permission during this trial to be grouchy and to feel sorry for myself. I wanted to complain and gain sympathy from family and friends. However, I knew this would only make others miserable too, and I would not grow in my spirit with negative behavior or remain in Your will without praising.

I know that You were building character in me and preparing me for future events in my life; therefore, I chose to change my focus and to praise You with each drop of perspiration. I was even able to thank You that it cools down in southwest Florida on November evenings, and that I still had electricity and could run the fans. Thank You for living through this trial with me.

Thought for the Day:

Regardless of the circumstances, we learn to do all things without grumbling and complaining (Philippians 2:12-16), and to walk in the Spirit each moment of the day (Galatians 5:15-25).

Many thanks to Matt Milligan for the use of his photo.

New Creation - Final Part 3

There are just a few more negative traits, which God is changing to make me a new creation. I dislike the limelight, but God is not concerned with this. I lack the confidence, anointing and ability to function in leadership, but I make a good foot soldier, because I follow instructions.

The last two strongholds, moodiness and grouchiness, only bother me now when I am tired, but God’s Spirit helps me to overcome even then by reminding me to keep my focus on Him rather than on myself. 

Over the years, God retained a few of my positive personality characteristics; such as my organizational abilities, calendar planning, economical tendencies, neat homemaking, attention to detail and a determination to finish what I start.

Another character trait, which He preserved, was my ability to find creative solutions to solve problems. Unfortunately, I always felt the need for others to do things my way, so God did purged me of that side of the coin.

God also had to break me of the penchant to ease the burdens of everyone around me; because I ended up burned out, and I thwarted God's plan in the lives of those I enabled.

I am sure that you can see from my testimony over the last three posts that God cares about every area of our life. He wants to transform and conform us to be like Christ and to manifest His love and divine nature to the world around us. People will see the difference He makes in our life and will want His transforming power for their life too.

Prayer:

Father God, thank You for making me into a new creation and for enabling me to overcome human tendencies by filling me with the divine nature of Christ and guiding me with Your Spirit (2 Peter 1:4; 2 Corinthians 5:17). Thank You for forgiving my inadequacies when I fall short of Your image of who I am in Christ, who is my true identity (Colossians 2:9-10). I rejoice in the fact that my life is now hidden in You with Christ, who is my whole life (Colossians 3:3-4). 

Thought for the Day:

Allow God to work in your life to exchange your negative personality traits with His fruit, to use your positive characteristics for His glory and to make you a new creation in Him. - 2 Corinthians 5:17