“Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself, like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother's milk. Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me.” - Psalm 131: 2
As we age, we litter our
past with tiny parts of our true self that we leave behind in each traumatic
event we experience. This results in our feeling fragmented, deprived and
discontent as adults. Most people hesitate to traverse the paths of their past
for fear of re-experiencing the trauma.
Thankfully, through prayer, God leads us into the dark room of our subconscious mind and His perfect love casts out all fear. Although these experiences are filed away in the memory cabinet of the unconscious mind, they still filter into our present life through our conscious mind without warning, or sometimes without detection. They ultimately affect how we think and feel today, even if we are not aware of their contribution.
Have you ever over-reacted
about some minor infraction and wondered why you got so upset? The reason for
this behavior stems from the present circumstance triggering the pain from a
similar event in your past. All of the past and present emotion rushes out
together in response to the present event, to the dismay of everyone around us
at the time! The good news here is that Jesus is the God of the past, present
and the future (Hebrews 13:8). He is
just waiting to heal you.
Human beings are made up of
a body, soul and spirit (1 Thessalonians 5: 23). If our spirit is not Born Again through a personal
relationship with Jesus Christ, it is dead in trespasses and sins (Ephesians
2:1-5). If this is the case, then our
first priority is to repent of our sins and to totally surrender our life to
Jesus Christ (John 3:17). Once the
Spirit of God takes up residence within us, we can then focus on
sanctification, or the healing of our soul – our mind, will and emotions. Luke 16:19-31 gives us a clear picture of a soul in hell. This man's body is in the grave, but his soul is experiencing the torments of hell just the same. The soul is a very vital part of our humanity.
It is the conclusion of many
professionals that our soul contains an Inner Parent, Adult and Child
that are products of our past. The Inner Adult usually spends his/her time
refereeing between the Inner Parent and Inner Child. There are interactions
going on between these three parts of you all day long. Evidence of this is
found in conversations you have with yourself.
When we analyze the
conversational transactions between these three ego states, we discover a great deal about our true self.
We can then unite the three ego states into a completely connected human
being by paying attention to the transactions between them in our mind. God’s
Spirit works through these ego states, whether we are aware of it or not, and helps us to reclaim the past and to become a healthy and thriving
person today.
Our Inner Parent is either a
critical and dictatorial parent or a distant and permissive parent or a
nurturing and understanding parent. We can retrain our Inner Parent to be a
nurturing parent in order to provide the protection and healing that we so
desperately need in our lives. You can now freely discuss with your Inner Parent all of the topics you never talk about with your
natural parents. The rational Inner Adult can
learn to exhibit assertive boundaries, which prevents the future storage
in our subconsious mind of any negative thoughts and opinions expressed to us by other people. Many people believe that when we reach the age of adulthood, we put away childish things (1 Corinthians 13:11). Yes, we put away childish behavior, but to deny the
existance of that Inner Child is to deny a vital part of our self - the creative, fun loving part
of us.
We help this process of inner healing by picturing our Inner Child as a real person. We allow our Inner Parent to nurture our Inner Child with love, focused attention, unconditional acceptance, inexpensive but meaningful gifts and treats and encouragement. We give our Inner Child choices rather than ignoring or dictating to this entity. We give the Inner Child the respect of helping the Inner Parent and Inner Adult make decisions that affect us. We learn to use our words to express our exact feelings rather than to wound others with a string of profane attacks, which inflict humiliation and emotional wounds on them. We state exactly how their negative behavior or words make us feel and we make it clear that this is no longer acceptable to us.
Unexpressed grief affects us
physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Our nurturing Inner Parent
helps this healing process by listening, affirming, grieving, accepting and
loving our Inner Child unconditionally. Sometimes we may need to pray out loud,
punch a pillow, take a walk, draw a picture of what we feel or write a letter
and then tear it up into a billion, teensy pieces. We also support our Inner
Child by erecting safe boundaries to provide us with physical and emotional
detachment from abuse or rejection.
Often our Inner Child must
resort to dragging us into depression, addiction, a negative mood or some
physical illness to gain our attention. We can prevent this by being present in
each moment of the day. When you take your
daily emotional temperature, and take time to dialogue with your Inner Child,
you will stay much healthier and more upbeat. If you give your soul focused
attention as part of the course of your day, you will experience a much
more positive outlook on life.
Relax and allow your Inner
Child to be part of your decision making process, but do not allow the Inner
Child to take control of your life all together. Inner Children can become
tyrants if we allow it. However, do consider his/her feelings when making your
decisions. This will allow you to feel loved and cherished at your very core,
and allow you to have a “say so” in your life that you may never have had as a
child.
Prayerful journaling allows
you to reclaim the parts of yourself that you left behind in unresolved,
painful experiences. By revisiting the memories, we face the events, uncover
the lies Satan told us, find out God truth about the incident, and then nurture
our Inner Child with God’s truth. Sometimes, the truth allows us to grieve for
the first time and to cleanse our soul with healing tears. The joy experienced
through this healing prayer lifts a weight from our soul and frees us to serve
God with renewed energy that these old wounds once sapped from our soul.
Your mental and emotional
healing also improve your physical and spiritual welfare. This process takes
time. Nurture your Inner Child now by making time to enjoy life, watching a
humorous movie, participating in a sport or hobby, developing positive
friendships that help to nourish your soul, etc. When you catch yourself replaying the negative tapes of voices from your past
or when you feel a negative emotion, stop and take some deep breaths. Put off
the shroud of the critical Inner Parent and replace the voice with a nurturing
Inner Parent. Listen to how you truly feel and take this matter to the Lord. He
is willing and waiting to heal you from the inside out.
Prayer:
Lord Jesus, show me the root and origin of each of my negative
emotions one at a time. As I journal, lead me by Your Spirit. Heal my emotional wounds
and show me Your truth about these past experiences. As You reveal Your truth,
the strength of all of my negative emotions will decrease in intensity and some
will disappear all together. I look forward to uncovering the lies Satan used
to plant this negativity in my soul, and to finding out Your truth about these
experiences.
Thought for the
Day:
Reconnecting to your Inner
Child and working through the pain of the past into the fulfillment of the
present will also improve your future.