At times we devalue our mate by
thinking they are incapable of understanding the issues we face as a family. We
tend to over-ride their opinion, minimize their concerns, and treat them as
weak-willed and weak-minded at best.
We exclude them from any
discussion about the topic at hand, fail to appreciate the Christ in them, and
belittle their attempt to contribute to both the conversation and the decision
process. We simply inform them about how we will move forward with the changes
we think are necessary.
Taking one another for granted is
also a death toll for any relationship. Does he/she go to work every day and
bring home a steady paycheck? Does your mate recklessly spend your income? The
balance is to discuss together how, and if, each purchase over a prearranged
amount will be mutually beneficial?
Often our sense of accomplishment
in life is greatly dependent on our spouse's attitude toward us. Give one
another compliments every day. Some people are more fragile and dependent than
others and need positive feedback often.
Showing appreciation for our
spouse's least little effort to meet our needs, and to help us as we requested
or when they voluntarily do things on our behalf, will go a long way in
spurring on more attempts by them to be a blessing to us.
Are your drawers and closets
continually full of clean clothes? Elves do not come in during the night to
make that happen. A hard working mate is attempting to anticipate your needs
and to keep everything that you can possibly need stocked ahead of time.
There is something to be said
about keeping our promises to one another too, and not continually
procrastinating our efforts to help one another and to meet each other's needs.
Show interest by listening,
frequently participate in the same activities, watch TV together when possible
- rather than in separate rooms, and shower one another with cherishing love
and appreciation.
Prayer:
Father God, remind us that
comparing our spouse to other men or women will erode our confidence in our ability
to please each other. We all want to be the best we can be, and we need to be
thought of as special and set apart in our unique marriage relationship. We
find this Agape love in our relationship with You, and we can foster it as
spouses as well.
Remind us that we can validate
one another by refusing to compare each other with other people, by speaking
respectfully to one another, by continually complimenting each other and for
making time to snuggle, date and share hobbies, and by making decisions
together with prayer and deliberation from both of us.
Thought for the Day:
Valuing our relationship helps us
to appreciate our partner as we compliment him/her for what we are thankful for
on a daily basis, as well as making sure that we express this appreciation
daily, so he/she will feel valued and affirmed.
