There are
issues in every marriage where we just cannot agree with one another. We are
diametrically opposed in our thinking, goals and vision for our life.
When I
turned 60, I started to slow down. I found that I wanted a simple life, devoid
of so much activity and slower paced with more meaningful activities. I wanted
more time alone with God…quiet time for prayer, praise and hearing from His
Spirit.
I did not
want to run from ministry to ministry, but to choose a few that I felt God's
Spirit directing me to help in and then to focus on those. I no longer wanted
to travel great distances but to stay closer to home, to sleep in my bed and to
spend more time with my fur-family.
I love my
children, step-children and grandchildren, but I did not want the drama and
poor choices in their life to complicate my life. I wanted clear boundaries to
prevent me from having to pay the consequences of their behavior.
I wanted added
boundaries around my life that would give me a more meaningful relationship
with my husband and church family without the spectacles and constant running
about, which used to complicate our life together.
This
required that we clearly define a few boundaries on which my husband and I
could agree. I wanted to spend more time with my husband, serving God in true
religion (James 1;27), rather than in putting out ”fires" started by other
people, or serving in frivolous ministries that other people felt were
important.
We agreed
not to share our personal business on social media or to say negative things
about one another, even in gest; therefore false and destructive rumors,
opinions and attitudes about us did not prevail over the truth.
We sought to
find a Plan C when we could not agree on either plan that we individually
devised. It takes work, but is well worth the time and effort. This way one
person does not have to constantly capitulate his/her needs to make our mate
happy.
We keep no
secrets from each other, but we lived open and honest lives, sharing what
activities we were involved in while we were apart, who we talked to on the
phone and thoughts we had during the day.
We work
together to find resolutions for our differences of opinion or our emotional,
mental and physical needs; and to find mutually agreeable boundaries for our
marriage, our personal life and our extended time and commitments to our
families.
Prayer:
Father God,
Jesus withdrew to quiet places to commune with You and to get away from the
crowds. Remind us of the importance of having "down" times for our
spirit, soul and body to heal; and to keep the "good" things from
becoming the enemy of what You are actually calling us to do. Remind us to keep
You as the center of our life and of our marriage.
Help us to
keep from over-extending our self and our schedule, but to make time to rest in
You and to spend quality and quantity time with our spouse. Help us to break
down the walls which separate us and to include one another in our activities
and into our thought processes.
Thought for
the Day:
Defining
healthy boundaries prevents folly and encourages wise choices; boundaries also
prevent destructive behavior from tearing down our relationship, destroying our
unity and preventing attacks from within and without that will weaken our love and
commitment to one another.
