Forgiveness is one of the hardest
practices humans employ; yet, it is one of the healthiest and freeing
disciplines that we can utilize. If we do not forgive, then God cannot forgive
us (Matthew 6:14).
We cannot control other people or
the circumstances of our life, so unforgiveness simply feeds the negative
emotions within us. This affects our body, soul and spirit. It pollutes our
soul with resentment, bitterness and anger; dwarfs our spiritual maturity; and
makes our body sick.
Unfortunately, bitterness will
defile our whole life. It destroys marriages, affects our children and causes
our body to succumb to every illness drifting through the air. It even
influences our other thoughts, our body language and our physical and emotional
attractiveness.
We feel that if we forgive the
perpetrator, we free them from the debt they owe us for our pain; but if we
continue to nurse unforgiveness towards the perpetrator, this somehow affects
them. They are usually oblivious of their guilt and our feelings have no effect
on them, but are detrimental to us.
Bible truth advises us that
turning our woundedness over to God allows Him to avenge us (Romans 12:19). He
is much more skilled at this then we are; so it just makes sense to surrender retribution
and our pain to Him.
Forgiving our self is undoubtedly
even more difficult than forgiving other people. We carry shame around with us
and beat our self up with it each time we remember the incident.
So, how do we achieve the freedom
that forgiveness carries with it? We can takes some time to analyze the
situation. Are we blowing it out of proportion in our mind, do we honestly feel
that they meant to hurt us with their words or behavior, did they maliciously
attack us for no reason?
Having a civil and honest
conversation with the person may actually resolve the conflict. Even if they do
not respond contritely or if they escalate the problem by abusing us further,
this will remove the root of bitterness in our soul caused by the former
episode and we can more easily turn the matter over to God.
Prayer:
Father God, surrendering the
incident and the pain to You will diminish the memory of it and give us more
clarity of thought concerning the wounds we feel. Teach us that by conversing
with our offender, we can make them more aware of how their words and actions
make us feel and this may discourage them from repeating the behavior in the
future. If they fall back into this wounding behavior, help us to erect
boundaries that will help us not to take their behavior personally and will
limit the amount of time we spend with them.
Jesus suffered similar events in
His life and He always chose to forgive. Help us to follow His example of
loving our enemies and blessing those who spitefully use us (Luke 6:28). Your
opinion of us is far more important in our life than the words and actions of
other people. You are our good, good Father, and You love us beyond words.
Thought for the Day:
It is easy to collect the
negative emotions associated with grievances in our relationships; yet,
forgiving frees us from the negative effects they would otherwise have on our
relationship as well as on our own body, soul and spirit.
