In every starry-eyed couple there
are private perceptions, life-long dreams and goals, individual personal needs
and expectations that we assume our fiance shares.
We talk about particulars as we
date, such as: cities and styles of home in which we want to live, number of
children we desire and childcare options, hobbies, preferred foods and furniture
décore, etc.
However, we avoid discussing some
of the most important issues, simply because we assume that we share the same
expectations. After the honeymoon these assumptions may cause huge issues in
our relationship.
If we continue to avoid talking
about them, then disappointment may turn to resentment and bitterness; anger
may seethe below the surface of our emotions and erupt over lesser
disagreements, causing our mate to wonder who they really married.
Living in peace with one another
is the better option. Taking the time to mutually pray about and discuss our
differences will allow us to find an alternate way of thinking and acting with
which we can both agree.
This mutual respect will go a
long way to resolve the matters and avoid future conflicts. Jesus loves us
while we are still sinners and He abides within us; therefore, we can love one
another even though we do not fulfill one another's expectations.
Working through these issues
during a time when we are not stressed and preoccupied, and when we can both
focus on each other's needs, will provide both of us with a sense of love and
well-being, joy and respect, perseverance and maturity, and relational
longevity.
Prayer:
Father God, we all have good
intentions when we marry, but we soon fall into the trap of taking each other
for granted, giving up on dating rituals that made us fall in love with each
other, no longer really listening to each other and taking one another
seriously when we share our personal needs and concerns, and forgetting to
forgive each other for putting everyone and everything else as a greater
priority over our relationship.
Please inspire us to focus on
each other, second only to You. Help us to admit our faults to one another, to ask
for forgiveness, and to make sure that we are actually hearing the intent
behind our mate's words without making new assumptions that will cause future
hurts and bitterness. We want to honor You with every aspect of our life,
including our marriage.
Thought for the Day:
These times of giving and
receiving unify us more completely as a couple, soften our heart toward one
another, cause us to draw closer to God, to open our ears so we can hear what
we are truly saying to each other, and also to bind us together with a sense of
unity and security.
