As
an Italian, I am very passionate. I laugh easily, cry constantly - whether I am
happy, sad, or moved emotionally. I also have the propensity to feel angry when
I am slighted, or overlooked, undermined, disrespected, and excluded from the
decision-making process.
We
Italians rarely hold a grudge, we just get even. We protect our self and our
loved ones very fiercely. Our temper is quick, like a volcanic eruption, but we
leave devastating scars behind. There are a few tactics we can take to prevent
this from happening.
Anger
is actually a secondary emotion. It is a result, not a cause; therefore it is
easier to manage than we might think. This and other negative emotions are
actually "red flags" to make us aware that something is not right
with our world.
Before
we feel anger, something happened to hurt our feelings, to make us feel
rejected or slighted, unappreciated or belittled, etc. Dealing with the anger
starts by uncovering what triggered this destructive feeling in the first place.
We
may feel sad or hurt or fearful, out-of-control or disrespected or overlooked,
or unjustly judged or treated. We may be used to feeling this way, so we never
learned how to successfully deal with these primary causes of our anger. We may
fight back or withdraw.
The
cause of these primary feelings may come from years of this undesirable
treatment. We actually teach others how to treat us by accepting unacceptable
behavior toward us. We can take an inventory of the needs we are experiencing
that are not being met.
Then,
we decide if we can meet them our self, or should we ask for help, or
relinquish them to God. Anger, like stress, will erode our physical, mental and
emotional health over time. It is important to nurture a positive focus in life
(Philippians 4:8).
Prayer:
Father
God, remind us that facing the underlying issue, resolving the problem, or
giving it to You to change or to use for Your glory, will free us from it. Help
us to discern what we hoped for that was dashed on the rocks of disappointment,
or by the lack of communication or respect from others?
Remind
us to see our issues through other people's perspective too, so we will not
feel so hurt. Teach us that there are several ways to redirect or to disperse
negative feelings. If we are uncomfortable with the circumstances in our life, show
us how to change them. If they cannot be changed, show us how we can accept
them and give them to You to change, or to use to perfect us through them.
Thought
for the Day:
Anger,
anxiety, fear, worry, etc. may be learned behavior from our childhood role
models, and they rarely solve our problems; they merely draw attention to the
fact that our life is out-of-balance in some way; forgiveness often deflates
negative emotions and frees our soul from the bondage of damaging feelings.
