In a long-term marriage, we often fall into the trap of taking each other for granted. We make our own plans and go in different directions for most days of the week. If we do not carve out time to snuggle and chat each day, we can feel like a housekeeper and a paycheck before long.
When we know that we are appreciated, desired and enjoyed, we will go to any lengths to please our mate, lighten their load, and make them happy (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). Otherwise, we get discouraged, feel ignored, and grow weary and eventually even bitter. Jesus treasures us as His future bride, and He teaches us by His example to cherish each other.
Jesus is our perfect example of how to respond to negative words and persecution against us emotionally, mentally and physically. He used silence to take the wind out of His tormenters’ negative words and behavior. We can learn from Him how to respond to hurtful words and actions from one another.
Like two fencing partners, we can initiate and engage as well as to pull back and remain silent in order to deflect an argument and to keep from entering the “blame” game or retaliating with unkindness. God will help us to take a searching inventory of our soul and heal our wounds, as well as to see the extenuating circumstances that cause our spouse to react to us negatively.
Praying about God’s perspective on what is occurring in our marriage resolves issues in our own mind and keeps us from striking back in anger and accusations. Overcoming frequent battles may take time, but as we discuss them calmly, after we both take a “time out,” an analytical discussion will help us to find better ways to communicate in the future.
We may never reconcile all our dissimilarities, but we can learn to cherish these differences and to find common ground in other areas that will prevent disagreements from tearing us apart. Having a spiritual perspective on our incompatibilities helps us to dwell together in unity.
Prayer:
Father God, teach us how to write one another a loving letter about how we truly feel, rather than to make accusations about our mate’s words and actions in a disparaging manner. We want to communicate love and acceptance of one another, by just noting the behavior that hurt us and how it made us feel.
Then we can read each other’s notes and discuss ways that we can both change our behavior to improve in our manner of relating to one another. You are the Provider of every good and perfect gift in our life (James 1:17-21), and our spouse is our most cherished gift from You. When we have a conflict, help us to appreciate our individual good points, and to have patience with one another as we find a third solution on which we can both agree.
Thought for the Day:
God loves us unconditionally, warts and all; He even loved us while we were still sinners; we can adopt this same benevolent attitude toward one another, show appreciation to each other, and continually help one another to make our daily life run more smoothly and effectively.
