Intimacy in marriage includes our spiritual, mental, and emotional connections, as well as our physical interactions. Increasing communication times in our day, not only online or on the phone, but also in our communication at home, is vitally important. The most challenging issues we face with this is eliminating interruptions.
Therefore, turning off our phone during this time, waiting until our children are in bed, or even taking a few moments when we pass in the hallway to gaze into each other’s eyes and say, “I love you only” will all go a long way in helping us to stay connected to one another and to produce a deeper unity between us.
We can also plan times to snuggle on the couch, deck, or the porch swing. This gives us time to share memories from our childhood, the uplifting things about each other that caused us to fall in love, talking about interactions we had with people during our day, brainstorming about what activities to include in future date times, issues about which we are the most passionate, planning the menu for the next day, telling each other what we admire and appreciate about one another, etc.
These conversations help us to laugh or cry together, to show compassion for one another’s feelings, to share in more aspects of our life together, to feel more secure in our connection, and to dwell with each other with greater understanding about the reasons behind our reactions, quirks, and habits.
This also allows us to remain sympathetic to our mate, and we attempt to remain interested in each other’s chatter. We can also address more serious topics, such as what we can change about our self that would help our mate to feel more loved, cared about, and valued as a person that matters.
When we hit upon an area that we disagree on, we can pray and ask God to give us a third alternative that we can both embrace. We can also consult Him when we feel any negative emotions arise between us about which we cannot identify the source for them without His help. Praying together is a wonderful habit to cultivate in our marriage.
Prayer:
Father God, one of Your scientific laws, that keep our life on this planet orbiting in a sustainable way, is that opposites attract – with magnets and with people. Although, this sets the stage for arguments, disagreements, and negative feelings against each other in our marriage. Give us the courage to be open and honest with each other when the occasion arises, but to do so with love dripping like melted butter on our tongue and over one another’s soul.
Teach us to prefer one another and to be kind, without neglecting our self, and to be vulnerable enough to intimately share our concerns, secrets, and desires with each other. Increase our faith in You and in one another as we give each other the opportunity to both support us during trying times, as well as to laugh together in the good times. Help us to cherish our mate as we cherish Your presence in our life.
Thought for the Day:
To open our heart means to increase our vulnerability and to learn to trust each other with our most personal issues, cares, and concerns; our responses to our mate’s vulnerability should never include sermonizing, criticizing, teasing, or demeaning remarks but compassion, empathy, cherishing, acceptance, and support; however, if our mate does respond with these negative reactions, we can kindly inform them about their behavior, because they may not even realize they are acting in ways, which hurt our feelings or cause us to feel slighted or devalued.
