A Good Marriage - Understanding Our Mate
We tend to show love to others in our own love language, but they are not impressed at all. This hurts our feelings and discourages us from attempting to make any grand gestures in the future. The Five Love Languages book has saved many a marriage over the last couple of decades.
If we love our mate and family members and others with their love style, we will receive the gratification of the response for which we are aspiring. It is so worth the effort to take this little quiz and to commit to memory the suggestions on how to show love to the significant others in our life.
- https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/
There are also side effects from our past life that influence our attitude and behavior in adulthood. These issues are detrimental to a fluid love relationship with others, and turn us into: procrastinators, deflectors, codependents, controllers, martyrs, to name a few.
Codependent individuals are wounded, and some are even broken with holes in their heart from childhood and young adult experiences. They feel they need to earn a place of love in another’s heart, and they weary their soul and body by trying too hard to please everyone.
Others were shamed by adults if they dared to express any negative emotion at all, rather than to be allowed to express the negative, find the root cause, heal from the experience causing these draining emotions, and entering the joy of the Lord (Matthew 25:21-23). They shut up their emotions and hurts deep within their subconscious mind.
As an adult, they lack compassion, avoid emotions in their soul, disdain people who attempt to express theirs, and tend to live independently from others or to control others to keep from experiencing any future pain or confrontations.
Some children grow up feeling rejected and neglected. They are starving for focused attention of time and hugs and a listening ear. They actually believe that they do not matter, are not enough, etc. because they feel unseen/unheard. The Spirit of God within us is faithful to heal our past and replace our negative attitudes with His fruit (Galatians 5:22-23).
Prayer:
Father God, help us to identify the root of our negative emotions, and to come to You for healing. Teach us to express our negative feelings with meek and quiet words in order to receive the help we need from others to live a fulfilled life. Teach us how to support our mate during these times in their life, and to help one. Another heal from our past experiences. Remind us of Your perfect love that removes all fear from our life, and to feel Your love falling like a waterfall over us each moment of the day.
In Your constant presence in our spirit, we have no feelings of abandonment, victimization, or isolation. We no longer need addictions or negative emotions like anger to dull our pain, to protect our self, or to quiet the negative voices in our mind. We rely on Your unconditional love, peace, wisdom, and power abiding within us to meet our needs. You are our God of comfort, provision, and fulfillment, and we praise and honor Your glorious name.
Thought for the Day:
Due to dysfunctional childhood and young adult experiences, we adopt unhealthy coping skills as adults that end up increasing the negative feelings caused by the experiences of our past; Biblical coping skills enable us to learn about healthy relationships and to face our past pain, feel those emotions, and exchange them for God’s true identity for us.
