There are many little “foxes” that spoil the vine (Song of Solomon 2:15-17) of a marriage. One issue is taking each other for granted, which is caused by over-familiarity. We may not need to worry about our spouse’s dedication to us and our family, but we should not fail to show gratitude and to value each other. We all desire to know we are appreciated, affirmed, and that we matter.
Another problem arises when one spouse is ill all the time. The other person gets weary of the role of caretaker, of not having a partner to “play” with and to interact with in a light-hearted manner. Compassion is a key ingredient in this case, because if we were the sick person, we would want our mate to truly care about us, rather than considering that we are a burden.
If we do not cherish each other and love one another more than any other person, place, hobby, or thing then insecurity sets into our relationship and opens us up to many ill-conceived suspicions and fears. We can have diverse friends and interests, but our spouse needs to know that he/she is our best friend, and we love him/her above all else.
Impractical expectations put a strain on any relationship. We often look to our mate to fulfill all our dreams, to intuitively know what we need and want, to meet all our needs, etc. This is just not realistic or possible. Only God can fill that void in our life, and self-care is a very important aspect in this area.
Living together on friendly terms makes life easier at home for both spouses. Enjoying each other’s company and paying attention and actively listening when our spouse talks and shares their innermost thoughts and needs is vitally important to keeping our relationship alive and flourishing.
Fixing our mate or attempting to solve all their problems is also not attainable or advisable. We just need someone to care and to feel sad with us that we are going through these extenuating circumstances. Sympathy and support are the main necessary ingredients to a good marriage.
Making an effort to intentionally keep our love, passion, and unity alive is another important key to sustaining our marriage vows. We assist each other in our varied interests, fellowship on a deeper level than we do with anyone else, make couple time part of our daily and weekly schedule, and show preference to one another.
Prayer:
Father God, remind us that as two individuals it is normal for us to have different interests and to find fulfillment in a variety of diverse amusements. Help us to realize that we can share a ballgame or a movie with each other, even if we are not especially interested in that particular hobby. Teach us to nurture our own physical and emotional needs and to trust You with our provision in this area without putting pressure on our spouse to do so. Remind us to see that as we care for our own needs, we have more energy to nurture one another (Matthew 22:36-40).
This allows that intimate bond to grow between us that we both desire. Help us to see that marriage is more enjoyable when we schedule time for having fun together while doing something that we both value. Remind us that a stroll in nature, snuggling on the couch or loveseat, peacefully swinging on the porch swing to watch and listen to nature and the antics of the critters around us, playing a round of golf together, going fishing or boating or thrift store shopping, etc. all make for a lasting friendship between us.
Thought for the Day:
Communicating as husband and wife on an intimate level will improve our relationship and thwart any door satanic forces may open for our infidelity; the more we do to care for our own fulfillment the less pressure our spouse feels, and it increases our confidence and intimate bond as a couple.
