We cannot trust our heart or our gut to guide us. These are driven by our humanistic desires and attitude. If what we say and do come out of our heart, we take the chance of the advice, attitude, or decisions being desperately deceptive and misguided (Matthew 15:18-19).
Only as we and our mate yield to God’s Spirit do we have a fighting chance for our marriage to survive. As a couple, our innate desires motivate us; therefore, we do not want to pattern our life after the world’s view or advice, because this may lead to the destruction and ruin of our relationship (Romans 12:1-2).
Following the examples we see in worldly marriages will ruin our relationship with our spouse. God’s Word speaks to the marriage role for both the husband and wife. We are joint heirs with one another as well as with Jesus of all that our adoptive Daddy God owns (1 Peter 3:7). God created marriage for our benefit and for His glory (Colossians 1:16).
If we disagree on some issue, we end up either giving one another the cold shoulder and squelching the words we want to say, or we blurt them out which may cause us to quarrel (James 4:2). Money matters are a major issue that create walls between a couple (Proverbs 17:16).
Pandering to our own sinful desires is also a destructive issue in our marital relationship (Galatians 5:13). No one is perfect. We are all carnal with finite thinking, except when we choose to humble our self, trust Jesus for our salvation and sanctification, and live by the Spirit of Christ within us rather than the desires of our flesh (Luke 18:38; 1 John 1:7).
Our sin grieves our spouse and makes him/her lose esteem for us. Confessing our sins to one another and praying together about them will keep us humble and prevent the need for God to humiliate us by bringing out our sins into the open for everyone to see.
Another sad problem in a troubled marriage is the baggage we bring with us from our childhood. We act out against one another in negative ways because we dared not confront those who formerly mistreated us. God truly desires to heal us from these past issues. A good tool for healing these memories is called Transformation Prayer.
https://www.transformationprayer.org/preparing-journey-introduction/
Prayer:
Father God, remind us that affirming our love for each other, as well as complimenting one another’s strengths rather than criticizing our mate’s weaknesses will increase our love and commitment to each other. Teach us to lovingly, but openly, express our individual disappointments in our marriage, and then covenant together to change the situation that causes us grief or frustration. We help one another through joint accountability.
We want to glorify You in all that we say and do and to act in ways that bless our spouse and increase our unity as a couple. Teach us that if we insist that we are always right, if we continually contradict correction, and if we care more about speaking our opinion than listening to each other, we may act in inappropriate ways that are impatient and show annoyance (Proverbs 12:15-16, 15:5, 18:2, 26:5). Remind us that our reckless, prideful, or angry reactions will drive wedges between us as a couple (Proverbs 14:16, 20:3, 29:9-11).
Thought for the Day:
A marriage sways on the precipice of dissolution when we lose patience with what we see as our mate’s weaknesses, which the law calls “irreconcilable differences;” yet, if we practice patience and focus on our spouse’s good points instead, we grow to love and appreciate one another more each day.
