Once we are married, we often forget the attitude and gestures that drew us together in the first place. We take each other for granted and fail to be courteous, forgiving, and patient. We lower our spouse on our list of priorities and expect the same fervor from them that we enjoyed during courtship. This simply will not happen.
No one likes to be overlooked, taken for granted, “loved” in ways that do not meet our needs, etc. Marriage takes hard work, dedication, compromising our opinions and choices, and putting each other first except for our love for the Lord. In fact, our love for God increases our love for each other.
In times of difficult trials and conditions, we can draw together to solve them rather than allowing the event to push us apart. We respect one another’s needs, thoughts, and opinions and we take the time to examine the issues together. This way our love and respect for each other increases over the years, rather than diminishes.
Life has a way of changing us in beneficial ways as well as harmful ways. We need to openly share our changing thoughts and needs, adjust to these changes in our self, and to discuss ways to meld together in them, so we do not resent our mate and grow bitter. More loving patience with each other is needed during these times.
Admitting to our mistakes, poor choices, and negative words and behavior can be daunting if we have low self-esteem, but God’s Spirit can teach us to laugh at our self and our behavior, consider our spouse’s point of view, and easily forgive slights and broken promises. The Holy Spirit of God is always in the process of sanctifying us.
Prayer:
Father God, thank You for the fruit of Your Spirit replacing the insecurities and negative aspects of our personality (Galatians 5:22-23). We can do all things because You abide in our spirit and never leave or forsake us (Philippians 4:11-13; Hebrews 13:5). Teach us to humble our self enough to apologize when we hurt our spouse, even if we do not see the importance of their reaction to our words or behavior.
Flood our soul with Your compassion for our self, our spouse, our children, and our extended family, as well as our friends and acquaintances. Pride, which is often caused by our insecurities, goes before a fall, and we do not want to fail in our relationships, but to thrive and grow in the fruit of Your Spirit. Remind us that mutual submission, trust, respect, and support will allow our spouse to feel secure in our relationship.
Thoughts for the Day:
We invalidate each other when we criticize or discount each other’s emotions, needs, opinions, and issues. We all need validation, especially from those that are closest to us. Our own insecurities and weaknesses may prevent us from giving this needed support for one another; but if we take the time to consult the Lord when we feel angry or irritated, He can give us the power and words that are needed in each situation.
