Choosing to be Vulnerable

Too often I meet people who are destroyed by the unfaithfulness of people in their life. They are abused by a parent, disappointed by decisions made for them by those in authority over them, abandoned by a spouse, traumatized by infidelity, or overwhelmed by grief from some loss in their life.

Through life's trials, I have learned that all people are inherently untrustworthy. You and I fall into that category as well. We never know how we will act or react to a moment of temptation and weakness. Yet, God calls us to love unconditionally.

If we withhold trust and love from others because we are wounded or fear the potential of being hurt, we cheat our self. We erect walls around our emotions and function in life from our mind only.

We refuse to feel anything because life is too painful for us. We do not emotionally invest in anyone, not even our spouse, children or church family. We simply show love by doing acts of service for them.

This attitude makes us feel like we are a success and doing our duty to others. Yet, this is a substitute at best - failing to fulfill us at the deepest levels of our soul.

We hide behind arrogance, which actually makes us more vulnerable and increases our load of unwanted emotional baggage. We collect the incidents of abuse in our soul and hold grudges, forgiving with our mind but never from our heart.

God is the only entity in life that we can truly trust. He always has our best interest at heart. Even if He disciplines us or allows life to bruise us, He never allows life to totally break us (Isaiah 42:3).

This makes life worth the risk of allowing our self to be vulnerable to hurt, in order to experience the joy of unfettered love and acceptance. We can even more freely love our self if we allow our self to love others (Mark 12:30-31).

 

Prayer:

Father God, our soul can only find our true and complete rest in You alone. You are our only salvation and constant comfort and strength. You alone are our rock and fortress. No matter what life throws at us, we will never be shaken as long as we keep our focus on You (Psalm 62:1).

Remind us that it is easier to forgive others when we realize that they are as vulnerable and human as we are. We can actually expect to be wounded by other people, but it hurts less when we have our faith in You rather than in our fellow sojourners in this life. You give us Your agape love to share with the world and it is healing and complete.

Thought for the Day:

God is our only help and shield from the inherent pain life brings (Psalm 33:20), because He alone is our strength in times of trouble (Psalm 37:39), and our courage in this insecure world (Psalm 130:5); we wait in silence before Him and find our hope only in Him (Psalm 62:5).

Married, but Lonely

There are TV shows, websites and dating services that encourage married people to find companionship. Their mates are too busy or uninterested to spend time with them, so they seek attention elsewhere.

Like most men, when my former husband had time off, he spent it in his chair - reading, watching TV, surfing the internet and playing electronic games.

I would sit with him to watch TV shows that he was interested in and which did not bore me to death or inflict my soul with grief. However, I actually felt unappreciated, taken for granted and neglected.

I was reduced to cook, housekeeper and a roommate. We had rare times of companionship, but no real relationship. I thanked my husband for every moment he did spend talking to me.

However, I eventually started to seriously communicate that I needed more of his time and attention, especially as our children left home for college. He called me demanding and resented me for wanting him to spend quality time with me.

He ended up divorcing me and relishing his time alone, free from marital expectations and relationship. A few years later, God brought a new man into my life.

He too was preoccupied with work and hobbies; although he obviously cherished and appreciated me. I often felt lonely in this relationship too and wondered if all couples experienced this drought of affection and attention.

I started making specific requests for his undivided attention and gave him ideas on how I would like to spend that time. He made sporadic attempts to give me a few moments of time in his busy schedule.

It took about 5 years for him to realize that he enjoyed our times together as much as I did. He started to schedule time for me into his calendar without me having to ask, and he kept those appointments.

We took strolls in nature, sat on the porch rockers, did chores around the house together, snuggled in his chair or stretched out on the couch or bed to talk for a few minutes now and then throughout the week.

We went on dates to local restaurants, attended city functions together, sat together at extra-curricular church events, started regular devotions together, read the same books and conversed about them, spontaneously discussed current events, and shared what we were learning in our daily quiet times.

Nothing extravagant or expensive, just frequent little moments of togetherness every day that meant so much to both of us. He stopped taking me for granted and noticed when I needed help.

Over the years, he increased these little thoughtful, nurturing gestures that I cherish. He opened car doors, carried heavy boxes, engaged me in conversations throughout the day, told me frequently that he loved me, and complimented me on my outfits and hair.

Whenever he went to the refrigerator for a snack or drink, he offered to get me something too. When he had time, he often asked if I needed help with a chore or fixing a meal.

He carried in the groceries and took them out of the bags to make it easier for me to put them away. He even started writing me love notes when he sent me his Bible verses to make slides for his Sunday sermon.

Our love flourishes under this constant state of blessing one another with thoughtful gestures of kindness and concern. We grow more in love with the Lord and one another each and every day.

Prayer:

Father God, thank You for a husband who dwells with me with understanding and does not view my requests for attention as demands and unrealistic expectations - a husband who learned to appreciate and cherish me and our times together.

Thank You for using us as an example to younger couples and engaged couples; so they too can learn to cherish each other and not to take one another for granted. Make us a light in the world of darkness and use us to do Your will with every moment of our life.

Thought for the Day:

Taking each other for granted is never acceptable behavior; instead, constantly appreciate one another and share acts of love and kindness at every opportunity.

Living in Contentment

 

God equips us to live in His abundant life, but we do not recognize it, because we are too worried about some aspect in our worldly life. We want this person, place or thing more than we want to live in the will of God.

In my walk with the Lord, I have learned that if I do not have something I think that I need, or that I want so much that it consumes my every waking and sleeping thought, it is because God does not want me to have it.

God protects us by withholding from us what is not good for us at this time. If I go out and procure my desire for myself, if I settle for second best and choose my way instead of God's way, I am always disappointed and I cause trouble for myself.

If I focus instead on loving God with each moment, He will provide for me what I need in order for me to accomplish His will for my life. In His provision, which He gives me in His way and timing, I find complete fulfillment, peace and joy.

God has a perfect plan for our life. Altering that plan will bring us discontentment, suffering and unhappiness. He supplies us with His church and the world around us to give us opportunities to serve Him, which helps us to find pure joy in our day.

There is a time for grief in our life too. We can journal our feelings, allow our tears to wash away our grief and tuck our thoughts and feelings in the heart of God for His safe keeping.

I actually purchased a heart-shaped box and I write all of my desires and concerns on little slips of paper in that box. Then when I think about them again, I remind myself that they are in the heart of God, and He will care for them for me (1 Peter 5:7).

I review my little box from time to time and write the date that God answered that prayer and supplied those needs in His timing and way. This builds up my faith and also prevents me from living in torment from overwhelming grief and worries which I cannot control.

Prayer:

Father God, when we are consumed by longings for what we do not have, we are actually insulting You and Your provision for our life. We beg You, quote scriptures at You and attempt to control You by having faith in what we interpret as Your promises. Teach us to enter Your rest and to trust in Your provision.

You are sovereign over the world and our life. You give us what You want us to have when You want us to have it. Remind us that as we seek You and Your Kingdom first, You will provide us with what we require, even if it is often not what we think we want. Your provision is always better than our desires, because You know what is best for us and You have our best interest at heart.

Thought for the Day:

If our faith in God is vibrant, and full of awe and expectation, we will be open to move into the deeper waters of faith and committed service to Him, as we allow Him to provide for us what we need to live in fulfillment and contentment.

The Problem with Happiness

Happiness is a fleeting emotion, easily interrupted by negative thoughts, words and actions. Humans can experience the switch between the heights of euphoria and the depths of depression in a matter of seconds.

When we seek happiness in circumstance, people, events, pets, career, home, gardens, hobbies, church, etc. we are continually elated and then disappointed.

In disappointment, we even give in to fear, anxiety and feel apprehensive when we consider more than the one moment of time which we are experiencing.

Fear will dispel happiness quicker and put us into a deeper depression than any other emotion, especially if we suppress the anger, which we feel along with it.

We have the right to pursue happiness, but we cannot maintain it. There is good news in the midst of this negative prognosis, however.

We can continually dwell in an emotion much deeper than happiness. This emotion is not contingent on circumstance and is spiritual and depends solely on the presence of God in our life.

This deep seated emotion is also our strength to traverse the negative path in life, which we occasionally experience. There is no earthly issue, which can ever shake us from this positive outlook on life. It is called JOY.

If we choose to focus on the negative circumstances, or if we adopt a negative attitude, our joy will hover just outside of our soul, waiting in our spirit for us to change our focus to the joy, which is always set before us (Hebrews 12:2).

The world-wide Body of Christ, both in times present and past, is an example of a people who love and joyfully trust our amazing God for His constant provision, even during dire circumstances.

Prayer:

Father God, You reach down Your arms and hold us until our grief and fears are gone (Psalm 68:5). You walk within us and guide us through the depths of grief, distress and insecurity. Regardless of the negative circumstances, Your peace and joy are our constant companions.

You love each of us the same amount and in the same way, regardless of our sinful past. We are confident of Your continual, unconditional love for us (John 3:16-17). We can never thank You enough for continually filling us with Your presence and Spirit, and for helping us to maintain a heavenly mindset rather than a carnal, earthly one.

Thought for the Day:

Our constant joy depends on our focus on the eternal Christ and our attitude of total dependence on His perfect will for our life.