Small slights, broken promises, forgotten milestones in
our relationship, focusing on our own career and interests rather than on our
connection with one another, etc., are the little foxes that destroy our
marriage.
Over time, they will etch away at the bond of love we
used to have. They cause resentment, which often builds in our heart over the
years of neglect and being taken for granted.
At times, this resentment grows on the back of our
perfectionistic expectations. We forget that we are both human and imperfect at
best. We lose patience with each other's foibles and peculiarities. We often
get impatient with the small oversights that erode our confidence in one
another.
My husband's favorite comment when he hurts my feelings
is, "I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't do it on purpose." That is
usually the case. Unless we married a monster, the slights - the little foxes -
are usually oversights instead of conscious decisions meant to hurt us.
In a good marriage, we honestly communicate our feelings
with one another, using kind words, without using anger or a cold shoulder,
which we use in an attempt to protect our self from more hurt (Proverbs 15:15).
We all fall short of perfection, and we should remember
this when we are tempted to feel critical or wounded by our mate's offenses. Showing
grace and mercy to one another is the better way to live.
This loving attitude prevents resentment and bitterness
from growing between us. Of course, there are issues that arise in some
marriages that can kill love.
I believe that trust is the foundation of love;
therefore, infidelity - physical or emotional - is a major breach of our
commitment to one another. We also grow apathetic in our marriage - ungrateful,
thoughtless and unappreciative.
Our passion grows cold and we co-exist like roommates
rather than as adoring spouses. This is not a death-toll to our relationship,
however. With the Holy Spirit's help, we can always rekindle that spark of love
and learn to cherish each other all over again.
Prayer:
Father God, help us to bathe one another and our marriage
in prayer on a daily basis. Keep us faithful to our love for You and for one
another. Remind us to be swift to hear and slow to speak with wrathful words
(James 1:19-27). Give us Your wisdom in relating to our mate with Your Agape
love that lasts a lifetime, rather than human love that wanes with the tides of
life.
Even if we fail to honor our marriage vows, help us to
forgive one another and to work out our differences as we allow You to re-spark
our passion for one another. Fill us with the fruit of Your Spirit so that we
can relate to one another with Godly compassion rather than human carnality.
Thought for the Day:
It is the "little foxes" that spoil the vine; therefore,
we need to concentrate on preferring and pleasing one another, and viewing these
marital slights through the eyes of God's Spirit - with forgiveness, mercy and
grace. - Song of Solomon 2:15
