In this
world, at one time or another, most of us experience abuse - sexual, mental,
physical, etc. This may occur either temporarily or continually, but either way
it makes a huge impact on our outlook about life.
Even a one-time
moment of rage that uses abuse as punishment, or as an attempt to control us,
robs us of our innocence and makes us feel powerless over our own life.
It drives us
into a codependent role - attempting to please others to keep them from abusing
us. The problem with this faulty thinking is that it often has the opposite effect.
People tend
to continue to abuse our good nature, take us for granted, treat us with contempt,
show a lack of appreciation, and give even more verbal, mental and physical
abuse.
We strive to
lay down our life in hopes that someone will love us; but we actually teach
them that it is okay to take advantage of us, because we constantly put our
needs last.
Trauma does
not always make us stronger. It may also make us a ball of nerves, fear and
insecurity. We are actually weaker, because we are always on the defensive.
We may use
anger as a means to protect our self from further abuse, but this sends mixed
messages. People never know when we will patiently suffer as a martyr, or when
we will blow up like a volcano.
The older we
get, the more we tell our self that the abuse happened a long time ago, and we
should get over it. Yet, the shameful effects of the violation, and the loss of
our innocence and sense of trust, can last a lifetime.
We may even
find our self doubting that the abuse even happened. Our soul is crying out for
validation and comfort, but our mind may deny that the perpetrator would ever
do anything like that to us. It is time to believe our true inner self, and to
get help to recover from our pain.
Prayer:
Father God,
You collect all of our tears in Your bottle and You will avenge every one of
them (Psalm 56:8). Even if we feel that we somehow caused or deserved the
abuse, You wash away our shame and replace it with the righteousness of Christ
(Romans 8:1).
Remind us
that forgiving our perpetrator actually helps us to heal by taking them off our
"hook," and placing them firmly on Your hook. You are much better at
rendering vengeance than we are (Romans 12:19). We trust in Your goodness and
grace toward us, because You show us mercy and You unconditionally love us,
even while we are still sinners.
Thought for
the Day:
Abuse occurs
when a stranger, or person who was supposed to protect and nurture and cherish
us, actually hurts us and steals from us what rightfully belongs to us alone.
