Sitting quietly before the
Lord, and enjoying His companionable silence, as well as His words of wisdom,
comfort and strength, is a spiritual discipline that I learn over the years of
my walk with Him.
Soon after my initial
experiences of sitting still before the Lord, I went to work at a fast food
restaurant. Thankfully, my boss recognized my codependent identity, and she
helped me to walk away from that bondage.
She pointed out to me that I am
a person too. She reminded me that I could minister to my own needs, just like
I minister to the needs of others. We are all sufficient, with Christ within us,
to live as a whole, completed person (Colossians 2:10).
At this same time, my husband
went through a dark night in his soul. He decided there was no option for us
but divorce. I asked him for a separation instead, for the purpose of
reconciliation, but he disagreed.
God had a purpose for me even
in this, however. Thankfully, since I already learned to trust in my deep, abiding
relationship with Christ, I started meeting my own needs. I knew that I could
trust that God had a new chapter for my life even now.
Therefore, I was not
overwhelmed by my husband's defection - in fact, I kept believing that he would
eventually decide to reconcile. I felt God telling me to move back home with my
parents, until I could find a job and a suitable place to live.
Over the next 18 months, I walked
in unity with Christ and I lived with the assurance that God loved me
unconditionally (John 15:4; Romans 5:8). Apparently, God had a new plan for my
life that did not include my former husband.
Even my three children, college
students at this time, had their own lives now. They no longer needed a mother,
and my nest was empty. However, God had a fulfilling plan in store for me as
well.
I continued to follow His
Spirit’s leading for each new day’s adventure. I looked forward to Him writing
the new chapters of my life. I also learned to look for the seed for a miracle
in every trial that I experience.
One night, the Spirit led me
to help a girlfriend with her project at Books-a-Million bookstore, which helped
to connect single people. There I met a pastor whose wife was divorcing him.
We had a great deal in common
and hung out together or talked on the phone every day after that. He had young
children, and I helped him to care for them, and to cook wholesome meals for
them.
We soon realized that God
wanted more for us than friendship. God took the ashes of our individual lives
and forged from them a union of beauty and a harmonious pastoral ministry to
His people
Prayer:
Father God, even when my
husband's schedule separates us for much of the time, and when I do not hear
from my children for months on end, I still have Your abiding presence within
me, which fills my soul and spirit. This brings fulfillment to me that no
earthly relationship provides.
My unity with You is the
foundation for me to live in Your rest. You are my life (Colossians 3:3-4). You
are with me and in me through everything which the devil, the flesh and the
world use to attempt to discourage and defeat me. In You, I am the victor over
all of my circumstances.
Thought for the Day:
May our God of hope fill you
with all joy and peace as you trust in Him alone, expecting nothing in return;
so that you may overflow with hope by the power of His Holy Spirit.
- Romans 15:13
