There are many reasons that we fall in love with a person. We feel attracted to them physically, enjoy their company, think of them fondly, appreciate their attentiveness to us, we like their personality and nature, have a similar world view, enjoy parallel hobbies and interests, respect and admire each other, and eventually grow to cherish one another.
As we date, we discover more about each other: work ethic, family dynamics, ways we can work together to resolve conflict or deal with life’s disappointments and issues, preferences and dislikes, plans and goals in life, views on various topics including spirituality and child rearing, level of compassion on the human frailties of others, etc.
As we communicate, we discover if this person likes to hear him/herself talk, or if they are also interested in listening to us with their undivided attention. In this diverse and fast-paced world, we are usually overly scheduled and thinking about multiple facets of our life at the same time. We often attempt to listen or to pretend interest in what the other person is saying.
Our jumbled thoughts make it hard for us to pay attention to our date, especially if we are not really interested in what they are talking about. However, if it is important to them, we need to take them seriously and concentrate on their thoughts as well as our own.
Even if we disagree with them, when they finish expressing their statement, we can kindly and respectfully express our convictions about the topic. As we form an attachment with that special someone, one or both of us may suddenly feel afraid of getting hurt or ultimately rejected.
We may fear a lifelong commitment, or the loss of “playing the field,” and wonder if this person might leave us for someone else once they get tired of the familiarity of a long-term relationship or our quirks, etc. Building a committed basis for our connection may require work that we are unwilling to invest in each other.
However, rejoicing together, feeling compassion toward each other’s disappointments, laughing and being silly together, finding humor in one another’s jokes, doing entertaining activities together just for fun, understanding each other and accepting one another just as we are, forgiving slights and broken promises, not disguising our emotions but being honest and genuine, etc. will all strengthen our bond with each other.
Prayer:
Father God, help us to use wisdom in choosing a mate, and to follow Your Spirit’s direction, even if it breaks our heart or theirs for us to do so. Not marrying the person we set our heart on is traumatic, but wise if we do not have Your peace about our ultimate compatibility. You know the end from the beginning, and You have perfect plans for our life. We want to honor You in all things.
If we follow Your peace in every situation, and we slow down our intentions with a possible future mate to wait on Your timing and will, we will eventually realize that as much as we love this person, Your choice for us is even better. We may have to wait years for the divine appointment You arrange for us to meet our future spouse, but the wait gives patience time to perfect us and provides us the opportunity to learn to rest in Your ultimate will for us.
Thoughts for the Day:
Marriage is one of the hardest unions we can ever enter, and it should not be taken lightly or superficially, but with wisdom and the willingness to compromise our opinions and desires to better fit in with our mate. Following the leading of God’s Spirit prevents a hasty decision, or one that is not totally informed about the intentions of the person pursuing us, because many a vulnerable person is taken advantage of by a flattering tongue that has no other motive than to meet a need in their own life or to steal our assets from us and then abandon us.
