Whenever we are tempted in our marriage to act spitefully, to pout, to withdraw, or to shout in anger, we can take a step back and look for something positive to focus on instead. Yes, your mate probably irritated you, hurt your feelings, insulted you, or stepped on “your last nerve,” but this person you married still has some of the qualities with which you initially fell in love.
Hate and love are two sides of the same coin. If we are tempted to feel hatred, we can always flip the coin over and do or say something loving. If we both practice abandoning our control and place it squarely in Jesus’ capable hands instead, we soon find common ground with our spouse on which to move forward.
Building a friendship along with our wedding ties and developing the habit of praying together about marital issues guarantees a lasting unity in our marriage. We share consideration, grace, and compassion, instead of expectations, criticism, snide remarks, and unrealistic demands.
We are not competitors, but teammates; not rivals, but partners; not opponents, but colleagues. We are on the same side of street, not across town. We are not restrictive of one another’s time, and we allow each other occasions to be alone, to occasionally meet with individual friends, to have separate ministries in our church family, etc.
We are fluid and change with our partner rather than maintaining a rigid worldview and attitude. A key to marital success is to change our focus from obsessing over our differences to enjoying our similarities, and how we support each other with our strengths without forcing them on each other when we do not ask for help.
This allows us to strive toward getting along rather than competing, or caretaking, or acting like we know it all. As we age, we continue to keep our love alive with consideration, a helpful attitude, playing together, sharing experiences, cuddling on the couch, getting each other a surprise gift now and then, or even jointly doing chores and duties. We pray together, and we stay together until one of us leaves earth to be with Jesus.
Prayer:
Father God, teach us how to help our spouse feel loved, wanted, and that they matter. Help us to keep our mate the center of our daily focus, second only to You in our life. Remind us not to forget to greet and to say goodbye to our spouse with a hug full of warmth, and a kiss glistening with the promise of our return. Help us to see that affection is our second defense against boredom and taking each other for granted.
Our first defense, of course, is to pray and to serve You together with our whole heart. When we are hurt, or need a change in our interaction, remind us to make a comment about what we appreciate in each other first. This gives us a good attitude and a positive way to ask for any changes we need in our relationship. By keeping You as our first priority in our marriage, we stay on the same page throughout our time together.
Thoughts for the Day:
As a couple, we support each other by participating in hobbies, chores, and ministries together, as well as to keep the spark of romance and playfulness alive in our marriage. While we are married, we maintain our union by taking note of the little things that make our spouse happy, and by providing those blessings on a regular basis. When death parts us, we look forward to spending eternity together in service to our King Jesus.
