We
often say, "You make me so angry." That, however, is not true. The
other person's words or behavior are simply triggers that arouse the emotion of
anger in us.
When
we react to that trigger, and express anger, that is our problem, not theirs.
Deep within our soul, we felt hurt or afraid of what occurred between us, and
we used anger to defend our self.
Anger
is simply a red flag for a deeper thought or emotion. This conglomeration of
hidden fears creates a force that is disproportionate to the small incident
that is occurring now.
Wounded
feelings like disappointment, frustration, broken promises, unfulfilled needs
or expectations, etc. will cause a protective angry response.
Fearful
feelings also trigger anger, because we feel insecure due to this interaction. We
may be afraid of disappointing our loved one, fear rejection, fear a decision
being made that will affect us negatively, fear the vulnerability the occurrence
arouses in us, etc.
Maybe
this situation is in part, or in whole, a carbon copy of some other incidence
in our life, and our anger is reflecting our past hurt, fear of disappointment,
or feelings of hopelessness or being overwhelmed by the emotions from both then
and now.
God
gave us these negative emotions as red flags that signal an unresolved issue in
our soul (Psalm 4:4). If we follow the emotional trail, God will show us the
root cause of our feelings and thoughts, so that we can resolve the issue and
express our true feelings.
( http://www.transformationprayer.org/preparing-journey-introduction/
)
In
our original family, other people may have reacted in anger, and we learned
this behavior from them. We can blame it on our heritage, ancestry, a trait of
our nationality, etc.; but that is never an excuse to react in anger.
Prayer:
Father
God, remind us that when we feel anger, we need to make some quiet time to do a
searching inventory of our thoughts and underlying emotions to discover the
root of our anger. Maybe there is a physical cause, such as hormones or a lack
of some biological supplement in our body, and a doctor visit is required.
Teach
us that the person receiving our anger really did nothing to deserve our
outburst. They are perplexed and wondering why we are over-reacting. Help us to
see that if we react to the trigger and express our anger, we need to humble
our self and honestly apologize for our behavior (Proverbs 29:11).
Thought
for the Day:
In
order to minimize the reaction of anger, we can use the negative emotions that
are bombarding our soul in order to express our true feelings:
"I am
afraid that …" or
"I am hurt by what you said/did, because…" or
"I feel overwhelmed right now and I need you to…"
