I
knew a couple who insisted that if he spent money on himself, she would spend
an equal amount on herself. Instead of thinking of each other, their focus was
always self-centered. This drove a slow wedge between them. They ended up not
even liking each other, even after birthing two children together.
Many
couples are in competition with each other, they go on separate vacations,
pursue separate interests, and keep separate bank accounts. This often breeds
resentment, competition and an overblown case of individuality. (Financial
security for the family may depend on separate bank accounts, if one person
spends indiscriminately.)
In
this world, we work at separate jobs, and have different friends, hobbies and
activities. We are self-sufficient and we go in different directions, which
often leads to a lack of interest in one another and an eventual affair,
separation or divorce.
Other
couples are so involved in each other's life that they smother each other,
restrict one another's creativity, and totally prevent each other from pursuing
their individual interests. Of course, living a balance of these two lifestyles
in preferable.
Sure,
we can enjoy separate friends that we spend occasional time with, but we also
have common friends that we hang out with together. We have a few separate
interests, but we support each other by attending events together that include
one another's interests.
We
also develop common interests that we can share with each other. This enables
us to nurture our bond of love with togetherness. We serve one another with
unconditional love, compassion, cherishing and support, which increases our
intimacy with our spouse.
Prayer:
Father
God, You demonstrate to us that if Satan destroys a marriage, he destroys a
family, affects the extended family, and erodes the church family. As we draw near
to You and resist the devil, he has to run from us (James 4:7). Remind us that
all people are neurotic and faulty, and the grass is never that much greener on
the other side of the fence. Show us our individual strengths, and help us to
focus on the positive in each other and in our relationship, rather than the
negative (Philippians 4:8).
Teach
us that selfish people do not survive in any relationship. Show us that
marriage is rifled with disharmony and difficulty, but remind us that if we
view our union as a partnership, we will pull together and find common ground
on which to stand. This prevents us from insisting on our own way, or to
withdraw into our own reflective thoughts that we refuse to open up about to
anyone else. Help us to see that no relationship is without conflict, but if we
walk in Your Spirit and pray together about each disagreement, we will walk in
unity.
Thought
for the Day:
A
successful relationship occurs when we accept one another as we are, and do not
criticize, silently judge one another, or tear each other down; we learn to
appreciate our individual strengths and to compliment and encourage each other,
because this foils satanic attempts to destroy our marriage and family.
