Some
people are self-centered and egotistical. They rarely consider the needs of
their spouse or family. They demand time to pursue their own interests to the
detriment of everyone else around them. Their marriage is doomed to fail,
unless they start considering the needs of others in their life.
Conversely,
if we are codependent, we will ignore our own needs, and put everyone else's
needs first. Then we expect our mate to care for all of our needs. We end up overly
burden them with extra duties and expectations. In this case, self-care is an
essential element for a good marriage.
Taking
some time for our self every day is vitally important to the health of our
soul. We end up having more physical and emotional energy to meet the needs in
others. We also act more positively, patiently, kindly and lovingly, as well as
less irritably and angrily.
There
are often childhood or young adult wounds, that we buried in our subconscious
mind, that fuel our most irritating habits. They often decide whether we end up
as self-centered or codependent adults. These disturbing events imprinted
patterns of thought and behavior on our soul, and influence our current habits,
personality and idiosyncrasies.
Showing
compassion for one another in these areas of brokenness, will help to sever the
connection of our soul-ties to these destructive patterns. We can work together
to discover the roots of these influences, and find healing from the Lord. This
will improve our current relationship.
In
a secure connection with our spouse, we can identify our own failings and
strengths, humbly admit when we are wrong, ask for forgiveness, and apologize
when we hurt one another. This humility helps us to change the destructive
behavior patterns we adopted to deal with and to protect our self against our
inner pain.
Once
the pain is replaced by the truth, which God speaks to us about our past, we no
longer react negatively in these same issues. We are free from the soul-ties
that held us in bondage to our brokenness in these areas, because they are no
longer deeply rooted in our subconscious mind.
Prayer:
Father
God, no matter what our experience has been with our earthly caregivers, the
truth is that, as our heavenly Father, You are perfect in all of Your ways. You
love us with an everlasting love, and You rejoice over us with singing. You are
righteous in all that You allow to happen to us, You do no wrong, and Your
justice comes to us morning by morning (Zephaniah 3:5, 17).
Thank
You for loving us so much, and for making us part of Your family as Your
adopted children. We savor Your blessings that You continually shower us with
each day, and we feel secure in Your presence. You are our great God, Almighty
in power, deep in wisdom, generous with Your peace and joy, and absolute in
Your love. We love You with our whole heart, and rejoice in Your presence in
our life.
Thought
for the Day:
Our
Father God is our perfect parent who loves us unconditionally, cares for our
every need, wisely disciplines and perfects us, never abandons us, is
interested in all that we think and feel and do, skillfully guides us through
the twists and turns of life, generously supplies for all of our needs, is
always available to us, and cherishes us as His unique and precious child.
