Over
the years of our marriage, we often build up resentment and hold grudges toward
one another. We feel more and more irritated over each other's habits. We take
for granted the myriad of blessings our mate showers on us each day, and even
stop noticing them or showing gratitude for them.
A
woman needs her husband to intimately share his thoughts and feeling with her.
A man needs his wife to admire what he accomplishes with his life, and
especially for her. We need one another's empathy over our trials, and
understanding over our shortcomings.
Our
mate likes to know that we find him/her physically attractive and that we appreciate
their choice of hair and clothing styles. This makes us feel more secure and
reassured of our attraction and love toward one another. Wives need to feel
cherished, and husbands like to be respected.
Really
paying attention to our spouse, looking into one another's eyes, and chatting
about what is on our mind - even if it is just for a short period of time every
day, helps us to feel validated and shows our concern for each other. We assure
our mate of our love for them alone, and we care about his/her concerns.
Date
nights do not need to be comprised of expensive dinners and elaborate tickets
to art, music, literature or sporting events. A simple meal cooked together and
eaten at the dining room table, watching a TV movie afterward or taking a stroll
around the neighborhood, or giving each other reciprocal massages may be even
more effective.
Love
and loyalty motivate us to stay faithful to one another. This protects and
strengthens our commitment to each other. We feel more secure and joyful with
life in general, when we know that we are unconditionally loved, and that our
mate is supporting us and watching out for us.
Prayer:
Father
God, give us Your Agape love for each other, and help us to feel compassion for
one another and to be attentive to each other's interests. Help us to honestly
share with each other what is bothering us at home, at work, at church and in
our community. Teach us not to tease or make fun of each other, so that we can
be vulnerable with one another without fear.
No
one wants to fear belittlement, rejection or abandonment; so help us to
decrease our mate's stress by showing sympathy toward their issues inside and
outside of our relationship. Teach us how to share with our mate what is
bothering us about one another, and to brainstorm together to find alternative
behaviors that will not trouble us.
Thought
for the Day:
Taking
an interest in our spouse's interests makes them feel valued and affirmed; when
we put everyone else's needs above the needs of our spouse, we send a signal
that others are more important to us than our marriage relationship; so,
solving these issues together makes us better partners, community members, and
parents.
