I
started life as a reticent, melancholy individual that would sacrifice anything
in order to gain my parent's approval and love. I developed an addiction to
pleasing others due to a codependent attitude, and I often ignored my own
necessities in order to meet someone else's needs.
As
a teen and young adult, I felt anger toward those who abused me when they were
supposed to care for me, anger at God for allowing me to grow up in such a
situation, and anger at myself for abandoning myself in the process of trying
to earn love and acceptance.
In
my mid-life years, I learned that anger is part of the grieving process, and is
part of our recovery. Anger at God meant that I truly believed in His
existence. I started to use a journal to discover the underlying issues that I
needed to face, and from which I needed to heal.
As
I grew in my understanding of God's ways, experience taught me that He answers
our prayers in His own timing and way (Jeremiah 29:12-13). He knows the end
from the beginning (Isaiah 46:10), and He often answers our prayers with a
"No," because to give us what we want would prevent us from receiving
all that He has planned for us (Ephesians 2:10).
God
gives us beauty from the ashes of our losses, joy from the tears that we shed,
and praise in our heart from the heaviness caused by our circumstances in life.
He rebuilds our life from the ruins we experienced in our past, repairs the
torn fabric of our current existence, and generously supplies all of our needs
in the future (Isaiah 61:3-4).
Prayer:
Father
God, we humble our self from under Your mighty hand of discipline and trials.
We trust that in Your good timing, You will deliver us and lift us up. We give
You all of our worries and cares, because we know that You are aware of all of
our needs, that You walk through all of our trials with us, and that You will
supply for us and nurture us in the midst of all of our concerns.
Teach
us to watch out for satanic attacks on our mind, choices and emotions. He is
our greatest enemy, and he prowls around tempting us at our most vulnerable
times. Help us to stand firm against his assault by teaching us to trust only
in You, and not to rely on our human resources (Proverbs 3:5-6). We know that
Your Saints around the world are experiencing trials too, and we pray for them
as well (1 Peter 5:6-9).
Thought
for the Day:
God,
our Father, loves us with an everlasting comfort for our heart, and hope for
our future that we do not deserve; He helps us as He directs our paths for each
new day; therefore, we have no need to feel anxious about our future, since He
will take care of us in His own timing and way as we live for Him each moment
of our day.
-
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17; Matthew 6:34
