Getting to know our self prior to entering the choice of a lifelong commitment is vitally important. Understanding our likes, dislikes, convictions, beliefs, opinions, needs, deepest insecurities, troubling addictions, unhealthy neurosis, etc. will help us to make a more informed choice about who to marry.
Following our gut feelings or our heart is not wise (Jeremiah 17:9). Marrying someone who will say, “Yes” just because we reached a place in our life’s goals to start a family is counter-productive. What we truly need to do is to follow God’s perfect plans for each of us (Galatians 2:20; Ephesians 2:10; Proverbs 3:5-6).
We do this by spending time listening to His Spirit’s direction for us each moment of the day. When a Born Again couple seeks God during the impasses of their marriage, divorce is never an issue unless the issue threatens our health or life.
At times, one mate makes a decision to divorce regardless of what the other mate wants. This is one-sided, and it shows a complete lack of following God’s preference for our marriage. Instead, God calls us to follow His peace that guards our heart and mind and may even contradict human wisdom, analysis, and resources (Philippians 4:7-8).
If we both love God more than we love our self, and we follow His precepts for every area of our life, this allows us to prefer one another without forsaking our own needs in the process (Matthew 22:36-40). In the center of God’s will for us, we can enjoy God’s enormous blessings for us.
Even our most difficult times in life come from God’s benevolent desire to: discipline us, teach us lessons, prove His love and mercy to us, and supply His supernatural provision for us. His example gives us clues about how to treat one another with intentional, heart-felt, unconditional love (Colossians 3:19).
We live like Jesus when we spontaneously respond to each other’s outburst of anger, disappointment, grouchiness, depression, and other negative emotions with affection rather than in like manner or by shutting down emotionally to one another. This defuses an escalation of spiteful words, the growth of negative emotions in our soul, or a full-blown argument. We lay down our life for one another.
Each time we sacrifice for one another, we mature in our spirit and grow in our soul – our thoughts, emotions, and choices. We are gentle, compassionate, considerate, patient, and loving with each other. This warms our heart and encourages our love and the longevity of our marriage.
Prayer:
Father God, remind us that we are joint heirs of Your grace with Jesus and with one another. This enables us to look at every point of disagreement from a place of understanding our mate’s motives, needs, and weaknesses. Help us to protect each other and to show special care and honor toward one another (1 Peter 3:7; Colossians 3:18; Ephesians 5:32).
Teach us how to love like You do: to give rather than take most of the time; to comfort rather than to add to each other’s misery; to understand one another’s needs and to meet them; and to show honor, love, and respect rather than criticism, insults, sarcasm, and contempt. We look forward to our marriage to King Jesus and to serving Him and with Him for eternity (Revelations 19:9).
Thoughts for the day:
We strengthen one another as individuals when we choose to submit as a couple to God’s will for our life together. We owe God our allegiance in all areas of our life, and He provides us with His authority and power to thrive as a couple, a church member, and as ministers to our community and the world.
