The euphoric, butterfly-in-the-tummy feelings of love that many people experience when in another’s presence does not last every moment of every day. If we make a marriage decision based on these feelings or even on the lack of them, we may wake up one day and realize we made a huge mistake.
Circumstances often stand in our way and whittle away on those euphoric emotions until they are diminished or totally gone. Then, we have a choice to live according to our commitment to each other and to embrace our differences as we formerly embraced our similarities, or to dissolve the relationship.
Sometimes our initial relationship “looks good on paper,” so we make a commitment, but the “fizz” is just not there. Over time we get bored and start to wonder if we would be happier with someone else. Again, we are faced with a monumental decision.
God is not in favor of divorce. It demoralizes all our friends, neighbors, community, church family, as well as our family unit and the extended families on both sides. This event makes a huge negative impact on the inner being of all these people and on ours as well, and it lasts for the rest of our life.
Rather than divorcing, we can make a conscious choice to love our mate unconditionally. Through this dedication and respect, we become best friends with our mate and enjoy the times we do have together. We focus on common ground instead of our differences, and on one another’s strengths instead of the weaknesses.
We also give each other space, play together, have daily times for relaxation to chat, etc. God’s Spirit is a great source to give us ideas pertaining to meeting our mate’s needs. We can also trust God to help us to provide for our own unmet needs or to rely on our relationship with Him to fill in the gaps.
Love does not rely on a feeling because it is an action (1 Corinthians 13:1-8). We love one another by doing things for each other to make life easier, to spend time together, to bless the other with a surprise gift now and then, to give our mate verbal affirmation, etc.
Prayer:
Father God, thank You for showing us in Your Word that our words are powerful tools either for encouraging our spouse, or as lethal weapons of destruction (Proverbs 18:21). In an impasse, remind us that You have a perfect will for this issue or activity in our life. Rather than insisting on our own way, we need to seek You together in order to find Your solution for the problem.
Remind us that if we are willing as a couple to humble our self and prefer one another on a daily basis, a happy long-range marriage is possible (Romans 12:10). Teach us to ask our spouse how we can make their day better, or what we can do to help them to feel loved. We love You and lift You up as Lord and Savior of our life and our marriage.
Thoughts for the Day:
As the popular song recommends, "The road is shorter when we meet in the middle." Rather than focusing on our own needs to the exclusion of our mate's needs, we ask God to help us to look at the issue from a third perspective. We pray and brainstorm together about the problem or need until God shows us a solution that is agreeable to both of us. Rather than our Plan A, or our spouse's Plan B, we can pray and agree on a Plan C that we both feel good about.
