In
marriage, showing acceptance, compassion and kindness toward our mate will
increase our love and our intimacy with one another. We do not impose impossible
expectations on them, or attempt to mold them into our soul mate.
That
is why it is so important not to ignore the red flags and hazardous road signs
in our dating experience. We tend to see a person's good points and ignore
their qualities that get on our nerves or that we do not like. So we choose a
person to marry who is not right for us.
Completely
getting to know someone prior to marriage, squarely facing any faults or habits
that we do not like, and making an informed decision rather than an emotional
or physical one are safeguards against setting our self up for an inevitable
divorce.
Of
course, people do transform over the course of a relationship. Goals change,
beliefs alter, health diminishes, desires wane, children adjust our sleep
patterns and parenting styles and patience level; then, the empty nest unhinges
us and makes us feel insecure, etc.
We
question our love for our mate, and get overwhelmed by their habits and
idiosyncrasies that get on our nerves. We have needs and desires in our
marriage that are unfulfilled by our mate; and yet, we yearn for their
fulfillment.
We
may even meet someone else that we think may better match our personality,
lifestyle, and objectives in life. This puts a wedge between us and our mate
that breeds greater resentment and irritations. We start to daydream about another
person, and we may even consider asking our spouse for a divorce.
However,
divorce is terribly destructive in so many ways. It affects: the health of our
body, soul and spirit; our children and extended family members; our financial
stability as well as our physical assets that we spent years achieving, etc. It
also goes against the desires of our Heavenly Father (Mark 10:8-10).
Prayer:
Father
God teach us the meaning of the word commitment prior to marriage. Help us to
covenant with You and our spouse in an unbreakable bond that is designed to
last into infinity and beyond. Show us how to nurture our relationship, how to
make it affair proof, how to treat one another with compassion, cherishing, and
putting each other's need above our own.
We
do not want to neglect our own needs, but we may need to meet them our self,
rather than to depend on our spouse to fulfill us. We find our peace and joy
through our commitment to You, and these traits flow over into our human
relationships. Help us to affirm our love for one another on a daily basis,
surprising each other with thoughtful gifts, quality time, thoughtful actions,
etc. Remind us that our marriage should reflect our love-relationship with You.
Thought
for the Day:
Giving
our relationships much forethought prior to marriage is vitally important by first
forming a friendship based on shared interests and world view, as well as harmonious
lifestyles, spiritual pursuits, desires for fulfillment, personality type,
hobbies and jobs, and what we enjoy doing during our free time.
