In
any relationship, trust is even more important than love. Love and hate are two
sides on the same coin. We can switch from one side to the other in a matter of
minutes. Betrayal, abuse, disenchantment, broken promises, fading care for one
another, etc. will flip this coin.
Years
of neglect and taking each other for granted will also slowly toss the coin.
Small disappointments build giant houses of disillusionment, unless we forgive
them right when they happen. Sharing a faith in God, and even a ministry that
we do together, will improve our intimacy in every area of our life.
Taking
life too seriously, having impossible expectations of our self and others, and
nursing a grudge will all build walls in our relationships. Learning to laugh
at our self, and to appreciate others just the way they are, will keep us more
balanced and stress-free.
This
allows us to like, as well as to love, each other. Our best friend makes the
best spouse. Getting to know and appreciate one another before marriage will
cut down on the friction in the marriage. Relying on Godly wisdom, as well as
passion, to choose a mate is always the best option.
Before
and after marriage, chatting on weekly dates about current events, concerns on
our individual heart, our aspirations, financial philosophy, religious
preferences, parenting styles, etc. are great topics for conversation. The
challenge is to really listen to one another, even if the subject of our mate's
discussion is boring to us.
Communicating
admiration, respect, appreciation, humor, cherishing, nurturing, generosity,
etc. to one another is another vital key in forming a close-knit marriage. We
form a bond in spirit, thoughts, emotions, choices and caring for our spouse,
as well as increasing our love for each other.
Prayer:
Father
God, help us to see that criticism, complaints, negative comments about our
spouse in private and in public; as well as bitterness, disrespect, etc.
destroy our bond of unity. Building up one another in love is Your recipe for
delightful relationships (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Show us how to rejoice with
each other's triumphs, and to show concern and affirmation in our
disappointments.
Remind
us to work together, and to realize that our partner is our helper, not the
enemy. Teach us never to insist on our own way, but to find a mutually
satisfying alternative whenever we disagree. Remind us that our spouse comes
first in our plans, and we can gather with shared friends or individual buddies
at other times in our schedule.
Thought
for the Day:
Areas
that bring us closer as a couple include mutual support, affirmation, cooperation,
goals, ideals, interests, prayer concerns, Bible studies, church participation,
decision making, choices, empathizing, listening attentively, focusing our
attention on our spouse, etc.; whereas always taking an opposite view,
insisting on our own way, making minor issues fighting points, refusing to
discover a third alternative in decision-making, etc. will erode the unity of
any marriage.
