Some
people hate confrontation, and will go to great lengths to avoid it. Others
love a good skirmish and will actually pick a fight to instigate an argument.
Regardless of our leaning between these two extremes, arguments are inevitable.
If
we are honest, we will admit that we even argue with our self - our
"me", "myself" and "I" have differences of
opinion. Then, we also argue with God's will for some unfathomable reason -
except that we often believe that we know better than God does about what is
best for our life.
There
are several ways to "argue."
1.
We have an all-out, heated war and both insist that we are right.
2.
We cave in to the other person's aggressiveness in order to "keep the
peace".
3.
We fear rejection, so we act amenably in order to "buy" their love.
4.
We pray together, and find a third alternative that is agreeable with both of
us.
The
first option is destructive. We are tempted to use words that wound, we get
side-tracked from the original issue and chase after lesser important matters.
We also erect walls between us and our loved one that affect our intimacy, fulfillment,
etc.
The
second option causes us to abandon our self, as we fabricate our thoughts until
the other person's desires take on more of an importance to us than our own. We
forget that we are a person too, and our needs are as vitally important as
theirs are.
The
third option also puts us in a position to disregard our own needs. Resentment,
frustration, and disappointment flood our soul and detrimentally influences
future disagreements, because it compounds our feelings of neglect and abuse.
Of
course, the fourth option is the optimal way to deal with disagreements. It
takes more work, patience, compassion, and is often viewed as an inconvenience that
compounds the original concerns. However, this option avoids the negative
consequences inherent in the other three choices.
This
fourth way also allows us to walk in the Spirit together, and to keep our unity
under the covering of God's will for our relationship. Finding that third
option is challenging, but it is also more satisfying. We nurture our love for
one another, both of us find fulfillment in the final decision, and we increase
our intimate union with one another.
Random
Quote:
"We
cannot change the direction of the wind, but we can adjust our sails to take
advantage of the wind to take us to where we really want to go."
Prayer:
Father
God, remind us that it is foolish to count our worth according to our fame,
fortune, number of people that we please, or our success in this life. These
are fleeting and transitory and can change in an instant. Teach us that as
followers of Christ, it is anti-climactic to pursue aspects pertaining to this
earthly realm. You provide us with both the desire and the power to bring You
pleasure, which insures our ultimate success (Philippians 2:12-13).
When
we compare our thoughts with Your Word, it helps us to judge them according to
Your precepts. Help us to live like a thermostat to regulate the temperature in
the world around us, instead of as a thermometer, which just registers the
status quo. Help
us to focus our mind, affections and goals on Your purposes for us (Colossians
3:2). We are never more fulfilled than we are while walking closest to You
through Christ in us. We worship and adore You all of the days of our life.
Thought
for the Day:
Differences
of opinion, needs, goals, worldview, etc. are inevitable; however, they are not
predictable disruptions in the unity of our relationships with friends,
relatives, associates and neighbors, because there is always a third option
where both sides are content with the ultimate decision.
