As
codependent individuals, we often overlook our own needs, minimize our
feelings, and forget to nurture our self and to show compassion for the trauma
we experience. We adopt an attitude that we are a "martyr," and the
"savior" for other people.
Yet,
we neglect our own needs. We may experience thoughts or feelings of fear, hurt,
disappointment, rejection, neglect, deprivation, etc. that other people devalue
and minimize, so we also discount them as imagined or unimportant.
This
keeps us from receiving the compassion and nurturing that we so desperately
need. As human beings, we all need our honest feelings and thoughts to receive
validation and empathy, even if significant others in our life do not totally
understand us.
We
can do a searching inventory of the memories, current events, and future issues
that we are facing to discover why we feel the way we do. Even if we do not
have people in our life that will show compassion and interest in what we have
to say, God cares and we can too.
This
helps us not to view our spouse, parents, children, etc. as the enemy, but as
our possible ally in this world that often scares us. If others will actually
listen to us, consider our needs, dwell with us with understanding, and accept
us - even if they do not agree with us, then we have no reason to get angry or
to build walls to protect our self.
We
all need to feel safe, cherished and accepted in this life. Many times our
parents, spouse, children and friends are as wounded as we are, and are
incapable of meeting our needs. That is why it is vitally important to give our
self the validation we do not receive from others.
The
bottom line, however, is that God alone is our only true source of care, love,
compassion and understanding (John 3:16; 1 Peter 5:7; Proverbs 28:26). God
became man, and dwelt among us as our Emmanuel, laying down His life as a
ransom to keep us safe and to help us to flourish in body, soul and spirit.
Prayer:
Father
God, You give us renewed times of rest and refreshment from the cares of this
life and the enemies that attempt to steal our peace, joy and security (Romans
8:31; Deuteronomy 12:10; 33:12). You are our refuge, our dwelling place and our
defense (Proverbs 18:10). No evil or plague will utterly destroy us when we
abide in You (Psalm 91:9-10; Proverbs 1:33). You are our Helper, and we will
not be afraid of what life or anyone on this earth can do to us (Romans
8:35-39; Hebrews 13:6; Psalm 3:5-6, 23:4; Isaiah 43:2).
Remind
us that if we dwell in righteousness and put our trust totally in You, then
negative thoughts, attitudes and emotions diminish within our soul (Psalm 37:3;
Proverbs 3:21-26, 28:18, 29:25; Leviticus 25:18-19; Job 5:11, 11:13-19). We look
forward to You raising up the Lord Jesus as King over the nations, because He
will bring justice and do what is right. Then we will dwell securely in Your
provision and protection for eternity (Jeremiah 23:5-6).
Thought
for the Day:
Shaming,
discounting or losing patience with our self, or with someone else who is upset
with us, is counterproductive for them and for us; we may view their tears, or
the fact that they are inconsolable, as them being overly dramatic; but if we
show them our concern, then our nurturing compassion helps them to feel more calm,
loved, appreciated and cherished.
