Gracious words are sweet and healing to the soul (Proverbs 16:24). However, as Christian mentors we may end up discouraging the wounded and hurting rather than helping them. We have good intentions, but our methods and attitude may increase their wounds rather than help to bring them healing.
We may belittle their circumstances and even intimate that they are the one at fault in their situation. This is rarely the case, and we are never to condone verbal or physical violence or abuse in anyone’s life. The Bible speaks out strongly against divorce, but a separation for a victim of violence and abuse is always recommended.
This gives the abuser a chance to take responsibility for their abusive behavior and to get some counseling in order to change. This also keeps the victim safe from any further abuse. Sometimes, it is even recommended that the victim go to a “safe house” or to another state to stay with family during this time of hopeful reconciliation. The Bible condemns violence.
The Lord hates those who love violence and promises to punish them (Psalm 11:5; Zephaniah 1:9). He is wearied by the violence in homes and those who make excuses for divorcing their mate, whom they should be protecting (Malachi 2:16). Even verbal abuse is dealt with in the Bible when God inspired Solomon to write, “violence covers the mouth of the wicked” (Proverbs 10:6,11).
Jesus equates anger without a cause as murder, and He speaks out against verbal abuse (Matthew 5:21-22). Our religion is in vain if we cannot even bridle our tongue (James 1:26). We are not to allow any profanity or corrupt speech to proceed out of our mouth; but to speak only edifying words that minister grace to the hearers (James 3:10; Ephesians 4:29).
Paul tells us to stop allowing bitterness, wrath, anger, and contention to express themselves through our mouth in malicious words (Ephesians 4:31). The antidote to anger and verbal abuse is to be swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to wrath (James 1:19-20). If our own inner pain fuels anger, God will bring healing to our soul (Psalm 41:4).
Prayer:
Father God, remind us to be kind, merciful, humble, patient, and forgiving to our self and one another for Your sake (Ephesians 4:32; Romans 12:10; Colossians 3:12-13). If we only love each other in word, but not in truth and in action, we fail to love others as You love us (2 Peter 1:7; 1 John 3:18; Matthew 18:33). Help us to provoke one another to love and good works (Hebrews 10:24).
Remind us to plead their cause in our prayers, to care for their needs and to relieve their misery as if we are right there suffering with them (Proverbs 31:9; Hebrews 13:3; Isaiah 1:17; Jeremiah 22:3). Teach us to point people to You, to Your care, and to Your love, because You will come with vengeance to repay the evil done to them and bring deliverance to the abused (Isaiah 35:3-4).
Thoughts for the Day:
If we see the anguish in another’s soul and turn away from them when they seek our help, we will suffer distress in return. We are even supposed to share the Gospel message with the wicked, because they will surely die in their sins if we do not tell them about Jesus’ saving grace. If they listen to us, we gain a brother; if they ignore us, then at least we have delivered our soul, because if we fail to warn them, then God will require their blood on our hands.
– Genesis 42:21; Ezekiel 3:17-19; 2 Corinthians 13:11
